[Pistias]

13. Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say "sir" and "ma'am", hold doors open for others, and offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilizede people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grannies or they'll kick some manners into your a** just like they did ours.
14. So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside? That's because we have enough sense not to live in smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York, Baltimore, or St. Louis. Make fun of our fresh air and we'll kick your a**.

Two reasons I have great respect for southern folk of the better persuasion, even if I can't figure out what the hell they're trying to say for a minute or two.

[sweetliberty]

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to GOD USA, they decided to send it to President Bush. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to GOD, which read:

Dear GOD, Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, they took most of it.