1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
2) The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
3) The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
4) Evening massage - 6 p.m.
5) The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
6) The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
7) Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 pm. Please use the back door.
8) Ushers will eat latecomers.
9) The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
10) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
11) The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
12) The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
13) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
14) Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
15) Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
16) Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
17) The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
18) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
19) The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
20) The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
Q: How many Freepers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,844
1 to notify someone that the bulb had burned out!
1 to change the light bulb and to post to the board that the light bulb has been changed;
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently;
27 to point out the government regulations covering light bulb changing;
53 to say it is their light bulb, and they have a constitutional right to change it any way they please;
41 to complain about the light bulb tax;
7 to explain how the Democrats are using the money from the light bulb tax to buy votes;
6 to say the Republicans are no different than the Democrats because they haven't repealed the light bulb tax;
6 to defend the Republicans by saying they have tried to repeal the light bulb tax, but they can't override Clinton's veto;
156 to list the difference between a a Gore light bulb, a Bush light bulb, and a Buchannan light bulb;
111 to ask why the Keyes light bulb was ommitted and accuse everyone else of a Keyes light bulb blackout;
109 to post that this site is not about light bulbs and to please post this on the FR light bulb site;
203 to complain that this is a duplicate posting, and link to the original light bulb changing thread;
306 to complain about Wal-Mart selling light bulbs made by slave labor in China;
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs;
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and the post the corrected URL's;
3 to post information showing how the Clinton/Gore administrations has put our national security at risk by allowing China to steal our lightbulb technology in return for illegal campaign contributions;
33 to wonder out loud if an intern is helping Clinton change his light bulbs;
19 to say Hillary has probably never changed a light bulb in her life;
12 to say Vince Foster was changing Hillary's light bulb when he died;
4 to accuse the original poster of being a disrupter who has only been a member of FR for two days;
44 to organize a "freep the veep" light bulb rally;
4 to accuse the mainstream media of ignoring this story to help Al Gore and the Democrats, and say "What kind of coverage do you think this would get if it were a Republican?"
143 to post messages that say "GO, PAT, GO!" in bold text.
4 to complain that the light bulb is a useless vanity item, chewing up electricity (bandwidth)
5 to say that changing a light bulb proves that light arises naturally and thus was not created by God, followed by
12 who respond that only an intelligent designer can create light bulbs.
1 to post a very obtuse, long-winded article claiming the Founders could not have anticipated "The Light Bulb Queston" and therefore the current Supreme Court rulings controlled the issue.
20 to complain that the light bulb was screwed in wrong
15 to proclaim that someone on the thread is a nazi
1 to post a "Caption This" thread of the Freeper who changed the lightbulb.
259 who post that it is no accident that light bulbs must be screwed in to the "RIGHT" to light up; moving (rotating) the bulb to the "LEFT" brings darkness.........
12 Libertarian posters that would point out that changing burned out light bulbs may not be mandatory
1 to post a thread complaining that someone banned a perfectly good light bulb.
1 more to say we should all be using Linux light bulbs
1 who will quote "That it is better to change the lightbulb than sit and curse the darkness." They will then add the chapter and verse from the biblical text which will verify this quotation.
2 who say Rush talked about light bulbs on his show and
3 who say that Rush is in the pocket of the lightbulb industry anyway, he's lost credibility on this issue
1 who mentions that we have no domestic lightbulb industry left and that all bulbs are made overseas.
16 freepers saying BTTT,as should be done with this fantastic post.
7 to quote Al Gore claiming he invented the light bulb.
5 to agree that the lightbulb is evidence of Project Echelon.
1 to leave FR in a huff over the light bulb issue and start her own, dimmer, light bulb site.
1 to post a new thread titled: "Changing the light bulb - thread II";
9 to post Al Gore's statement that he was assigned to front line light bulb changing duty in Vietnam;
4 pointing out spelling errors
5 others trying to impress us with their HTML abilities but adding nothing to the importance of changing a light bulb properly, including
24 to go to the Yahoo contingency site to announce the burning out and replacement of the bulb.
1 to call Rush and inform him of the tragedy of the burned out bulb
40 to praise JimRob for the new light bulb
4 to start a fundraiser to pay for the new light bulb...
27 to say that if you went to public school you wouldn't know how to change a bulb.
15 to debate whether the lightbulb was predestined to burn out
1 to post an animated gif file of a lightbulb.
1 post from Registered of a custom graphic involving a light bulb.
1 post from JimRob explaining why 50 messages were deleted and 8 Freepers were banned.