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How to keep a healthy level of Insanity!

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6) In the memo field of all your checks, write, "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS".

7) Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy."

8) Don't use any punctuation

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12) Sing along at the opera.

13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won! Third time this week!!!"

18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

19) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Those are funny! Along the same line:

For Men: 15 Things you can do at Wal-Mart while your wife/girlfriend is taking her sweet time shopping:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in housewares,'...and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'.
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!'
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream 'NO! NO! It's those voices again'.
15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly .. 'Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!'.