Posted on 01/01/2002 12:07:51 AM PST by sweetliberty
we can all smile some, today, finally. : )
BTTT - Its that time of year to have a few laughs. In case some newbies weren't around in 2002 or someone would like to add to the list...
"God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls could flirt." : )
I think I said some of them already......
lol!
You Know You are Living in 2005, when:
1. You accidently enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have email addresses.
6. After a long day at work, you answer your home phone in a business manner.
7. You make phone calls from home, you accidently dial '9' to get an outside line
8. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
10. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
11. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
12. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)
13. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
14. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
15. You are too busy to notice that there was no #9 on this list.
16. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
AND NOW U R LOL at yourself.
That is truly an evil thought.....not to mention unthinkable.....
:-)
But the rest was really good.....and very funny.....
no wine.
gives headaches.
drink coffee.
no headaches.
: )
So how are you today? It's Friday!
thank goodness!!
I'm cold; it's snowy here today.
blech!
Just kidding....but cheer up nics.....life is good........
Did you go out on your boat, sailing?
*he he he*
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a
baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to
respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything
went quite well.
As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts," and the
patients complied by standing up. After the anthem, he yelled, "Down
Nuts," and they all sat back down in their seats.
After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts". They all
broke out into applause and cheered. When the umpire made a
particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor
yelled, "Booooo Nuts," and they all started booing and cat calling.
Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer
and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned,
there was a huge riot in progress.
Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked, "What in the world happened???" The assistant replied, "Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled, "PEANUTS!"
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph.
I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit? "
FOLLOWING ARE ACTUAL STATEMENTS FOUND ON INSURANCE FORMS WHERE CAR DRIVERS HAVE ATTEMPTED TO SUMMARIZE THE DETAILS OF AN ACCIDENT IN THE FEWEST WORDS POSSIBLE. THESE INSTANCES OF FAULTY WRITING SERVE TO CONFIRM THAT EVEN INCOMPETENT WRITING MAY BE HIGHLY ENTERTAINING.
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I hit him.
I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gent as he bounced off the hood of my car.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth
bump for later
MORE "IDIOTS AMONG US"
True personal story.
I called tech support because I forgot the password to an infrequently used program. Tech support gave me a new password but said I would have to change the password when I logged in. When they reminded me not to use the old password, I asked: "You mean the one I forgot." and they replied: "Yes, that one. Don't reuse it."
My tech support automatically requires me to change my password every 3 months. Every three months, my computer displays this message:
"Your password has expired. Enter your new password. It must be random in nature, contain X upper case, X Special symbols, X numbers and be 10 digits long. Do not write down your password. Do not reuse any of your previous 20 passwords."
Do they really expect me to remember my last 20 random 10 digit passwords? For 3 years?
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