Posted on 12/29/2001 12:17:05 AM PST by Reaganwuzthebest
Dear Doc,
I have a very cool wife. She's gorgeous. We have mutually high romantic Interest Level [degree of love] in each other. She has a fantastic attitude. She's flexible. She's a giver. She's as loyal and trustworthy as a police dog. She's intelligent, sophisticated and a very talented singer and songwriter. In fact, we perform and sing together at different coffeehouses in Southern California.
It's the best relationship I've ever had in my life and it just seems to get better and better as the months go by. We've been married now for ten months and I can't believe how much I love married life.
There's just one little thing she does that seems to be a slight problem, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. Every once in awhile, and I really do mean every once in awhile, like maybe once every three weeks or so, she'll tell me to do something rather than ask me. It's almost like she's giving me an order. She only does it once and then it doesn't happen again for weeks.
The last time it happened we were about to go to sleep and she said, "Turn off the bathroom light." She didn't say; "Would you turn off the bathroom light?" or "Honey, can you turn off the bathroom light?" She just said it like a command: "Turn off the bathroom light."
When she does that, it just throws me for a loop and I don't know what to say or do. The way I've been handling it is that I wait about a minute or so (so that I don't look like I'm just jumping through hoops) and then I do what she wants. But I think there's probably a better way to handle the situation. I'd like to respond in a way that shows her the error of her ways without seeming like I'm uptight and out of control. Any suggestions, Doc?
Franko -- who wants to deal with all this
doc love's answer:
Hi Franko,
In every romantic male/female relationship, there are always going to be minor things that each partner does that irritate the other. There's no such thing as an absolutely perfect relationship, no such thing as two people being 100% compatible.
Salute her:
So, on the one hand, you could say, "Gee, she has a fantastic attitude 99.2% of the time, and once every three weeks she acts like a traffic cop for one minute. I can live with that." But, I say, it's worth testing to see if you can eliminate her annoying habit of ordering you around. It's better to eliminate any potential for feeling resentment, if possible.
I recommend letting her know that her behavior is unacceptable in a playful and humorous way. The idea is to take a stand without being reactive or whiney or pouty. So the next time she gives you an order, you can say something like: "Yes, sir Master Drill Sergeant, sir!'
Get right in her face, snap to attention and salute her. (Make a mockery of the situation.) Then follow her instructions. Next, go back to her and say, "Task completed Master Drill Sergeant, sir, Private Franko awaiting further orders, sir." That will get your message across.
It's a laughing matter:
When you do a skit like this, you're setting limits and letting her know that her behavior is unacceptable without coming off as an uptight Macho Boy. Using humor is the best approach and it's often very effective.
Then, if she happens to give you another order in the months that follow, drive home your message again with a different comedy skit. When she says: "Bring me the telephone," say, "Yes Master, this little puppy dog can fetch better and faster than any other doggie on the block.
If I'm really quick will I get a doggie biscuit for a reward?" Say this as you fall to your knees, pant and grovel. And as you adopt this physical posture, give her a great big grin the way Dennis Quaid would. Hopefully, after that, she'll terminate her unloving behavior.
Remember, guys, if she's chronically doing something you don't like, use humor to change her.
Oh, it's real allright! I've posted to it many times but this is the first time I has anyone really look at it. Maybe the sex angle helped?:)
You can learn a LOT about the real Islam because the questions are from real followers to the Imam. You should read some of the stuff about Jews. That they are monkeys, that anything against them is basically OK, etc.
Islam seems very cultish to me. Some of the followers want every minute of their lives controlled by the "clerics".
It is not permissible for a husband to bathe his wife after her death. If there are any females, they should do so.
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
Mufti (Name Deleted)
FATWA DEPT.
This here is why I could never be a moslem...
When my wives die I'm used to givin' em a good scrubbin'...
And I've got no use fer a religion that tells me to do otherwise!
After returning from turning off the Bathroom lights, tell her to go get a stick of butter & bring it to you, then kneel on the bed with her "bottom" raised. Either she'll never issue another order, or you've got another (interesting) set of "issues" to deal with.
Progress either way!
Doc
Hey .45MAN, are ya deaf??????
ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW!!!!!
LOL. I got it instantly.
Him: *sigh*
Me: "What's wrong?"
Him: "Nothin'... (long pause)...It's just that you- (insert whatever I did wrong here)"
Or this-
Him: *sigh*
Me: "What's wrong?"
Him:"I'm just BREATHING!"
Then, keeping with the "doggie" bit, say...
Well, maybe not on a respectable public forum.
As an "Exempt" of "The Church of the Future",I can tell you that in the "middle period" of our group,we had a lot of trouble with that.
People would come to us and say,"Tell us what to believe!"
The poor sods just didn't understand that we weren't an "organized" religion.
Which made it very hard on them,and on us too,as we became aquainted with the vast power over them that we had,eventually we had to disband.
To give an example,we once had our eyes on a small store front
to use as a meetingplace/headquarters but it was leased already.
We put a note in our newsletter asking our members to go and take showers(the aquarian thing)
while sending out vibes to try and make the tenent move out.
The next thing we knew he was sueing us as some members had taken things to hand in a somewhat more direct way.
Like I said,it's an awesome power. We finally got him to drop the suit but had to give it up after that.
Oh,and the Elvis Piano Smash Fundraiser got out of hand too, so we could see the writing on the bulb.
This Islam thing is much worse,they BELIEVE in it.
Exactly. Life is safer and more secure when the ladies don't know what we're thinking/feeling.
The correct response, is to go over the neighbor's garage and drink his beer, and whine and complain out the light switch thing. When one of the other guys complains about his wife's terrible snoring and athelete's foot, one then realizes that being commanded to switch off the light is no big deal, and one actually becomes grateful for such small problems. GRIN!
/john
This guy needs to quit complaining. His wife sounds like she has the mildest case of PMS I've ever heard of.
Seems like this was ground that we covered in that early post today.
I do like the idea about the "turning the light off to your satisfaction" comment.
Hopefully, if you are doing it right, her lights will go out naturally, if you know what I mean.
And I have voice mail there... thank God!
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