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Dying boy, 15, gets wish: losing virginity
Chicago Sun Times ^ | 12/23/01 | BY BENJAMIN ERRETT

Posted on 12/23/2001 6:26:24 AM PST by Mopp4

A terminally ill boy had his dying wish granted in Australia this month, but ethicists are still at odds over whether it was the right thing to do.
The wish was not for a trip to Disneyland or to meet a famous sports star. Instead, the 15-year-old wanted to lose his virginity before he died of cancer. The boy, who remains anonymous but was called Jack by the Australian media, did not want his parents to know about his request. Because of his many years spent in the hospital, he had no girlfriend or female friends.
Jack died last week, but not before having his last wish granted. Without the knowledge of his parents or hospital staff, friends arranged an encounter with a prostitute outside of hospital premises. All precautions were taken, and the organizers made sure the act was fully consensual. The issue has sparked fierce debate over the legal and ethical implications of granting the boy's request. By law, Jack was still a child, and the woman involved could in theory face charges for having sex with a minor. The debate was sparked by the hospital's child psychologist, who wrote a letter to "Life Matters," a radio show in which academics debate ethical and moral dilemmas. The scenario was presented in the abstract, with no details about the boy's identity.

"He had been sick for quite a long period, and his schooling was very disrupted, so he hadn't had many opportunities to acquire and retain friends, and his access to young women was pretty poor," the psychologist said recently in an interview with Australia's Daily Telegraph newspaper. "But he was very interested in young women and was experiencing that surge of testosterone that teenage boys have." Hospital staff initially wanted to pool donations to pay for a prostitute, but the ethical and legal implications prevented them from doing so. The psychologist presented members of the clergy with the dilemma and found no clear answer. "It really polarized them," he said. "About half said, 'What's your problem?' And the other half said [it] demeans women and reduces the sexual act to being just a physical one."

Dr. Stephen Leeder, dean of medicine at the University of Sydney and a "Life Matters" panelist, said the issue was a difficult one. "I pointed out that public hospitals operated under the expectation that they would abide by state law," he said. "While various things doubtless are done that are at the edge of that, it's important the public has confidence that the law will be followed." Jack's psychologist, who works with children in palliative care, said the desire was driven in part by a need for basic human contact. "In a child dying over a long period of time, there is often a condition we call 'skin hunger,'" he said. The terminally ill child yearns for non-clinical contact because "mostly when people touch them, it's to do something unpleasant, something that might hurt." Leeder called the diagnosis "improbable." Judy Lumby, the show's other panelist and the executive director of the New South Wales College of Nursing, argued that the details as presented made it abundantly clear the boy's wish ought to be granted. "I said that I would try my darndest as a nurse to do whatever I could to make sure his wish came true," she said. "I just think we are so archaic in the way we treat people in institutions. Certainly, if any of my three daughters were dying, I'd do whatever I could, and I'm sure that you would, too." National Post


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To: Cultural Jihad
I was always taught to help those in need.
561 posted on 12/23/2001 10:53:50 PM PST by Dan from Michigan
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To: Dan from Michigan
And I would not love a God that was like that,

Well it seems that whether you love Him or not, doesn't change Him one bit. How we wish Him to be, just doesn't cut the mustard. Guess that would make us God, if we could change Him to what we each wanted.

BTW. I am not trying to sound greater than thou, but this is the facts... I had to accept it like I found it too.

562 posted on 12/23/2001 10:58:33 PM PST by LowOiL
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To: Dan from Michigan
I was always taught to help those in need.

OIC. So when the heroin addict can't muster the strength to squeeze the syringe of poison into his veins, luckily he can call up someone to help him in his need, eh?

563 posted on 12/23/2001 10:59:44 PM PST by Cultural Jihad
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To: Cultural Jihad
I'd get the heroin addict help, not shoot him up. You are the king of strawman arguments, you know that don't you?
564 posted on 12/23/2001 11:07:26 PM PST by Dan from Michigan
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To: Lowelljr
It's not about wishing the way it would be. I know what it is. Personal experience has taught me.
565 posted on 12/23/2001 11:08:10 PM PST by Dan from Michigan
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To: Dan from Michigan
I'd get the heroin addict help, not shoot him up.

Good to hear.

You are the king of strawman arguments, you know that don't you?

Not as I see it. Sometimes I'll post the logical extension of an argument, taking it to its absurd conclusion. In that regard I leave it up to the addressee to determine whether it is made of straw or whole cloth, or perhaps brick and mortar.

566 posted on 12/23/2001 11:20:36 PM PST by Cultural Jihad
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To: Dan from Michigan
Do you discount the Ten Commandments then ? How about all that is in the OT ?

If you try to refute me, with that os saw, about the Christ surplanting all that is in the OT, let me remind you, that JESUS did NOT come to replace the Jewish religion ! HE, HIMSELF, said that HE came to return to it / fulfill what is in the OT ! That being said, you just can NOT decide what GOD is , or is not, yourself. You have to have something upon which to base your beliefs and opinions. The Bible is THAT source.

No matter what the PHYSICAL maturity , of a child is, a 15 year old IS a CHILD / MINOR ! Even IF he is DYING, consentutal ( but, in THIS case it is PAID for ! ) sexual congress, between an adult and a child, IS child molestation. I suspect that you are much too close in age, to this now dead boy , to be able to remove yourself from this case. If and when, you become a parent, you just might see things differently. At least I hope that ae and maturity, will over ride hormonal memory, and common sense will take over.

567 posted on 12/23/2001 11:33:42 PM PST by nopardons
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To: Dan from Michigan
BTW - I think many people here, sending him to hell, are forgetting the 2nd Great Commandment. "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

BOOM! And folks, that's our outrageously misapplied Scripture replay!

568 posted on 12/23/2001 11:38:40 PM PST by L.N. Smithee
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To: Dan from Michigan
I was always taught to help those in need.

It is to laugh. No terminally ill person needs sex with a prostitute.

You're digging yourself a new deep hole with every post. I can't wait to see what you'll say next.

569 posted on 12/23/2001 11:43:57 PM PST by L.N. Smithee
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To: nopardons
That being said, you just can NOT decide what GOD is , or is not, yourself. You have to have something upon which to base your beliefs and opinions. The Bible is THAT source

I know from my personal experiences. That is what I base my life.

I do believe in the 10 commandments and the two Great Commandments.

And is the young man going to Hell, that's not for me to decide, but I do not believe he is, strictly for what has happened in this one case.

I do not consider the young man a child(12 and younger is a child, 13-17 not a child, not an adult). I'll also say that I believe that one of the major problems in society today is that people want to keep raising the age of maturity, but that's another discussion.

I'm divided on what has happened. On one hand, I'm not a personal fan of prostitution, but on the other hand, I do believe in giving a dying young man his wish if it isn't going to directly negativly affect another person.

570 posted on 12/23/2001 11:49:16 PM PST by Dan from Michigan
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To: Dan from Michigan
I NEVER said that he was going to hell !

In NO Western society, n the past 150 years, at least , has a 15 year old been considered to be an ADULT ! For the better part of recorded history, one was either a child, or an adult. " TEENAGERS " , as a group, are a VERY recent invention. Dying, or NOT, this boy WAS a MINOR ! It has only been in the space of a generation, that the voting age, in this country was changed . Prior to that time, one was considered to be an adult, andas such capable of voting, at age 21 !

If this now dead boy's last wish, was to hold up bank, because he;d never done it, and wanted to, before he died, I am willing to bet, that the call on this, would NOT be the same, for many. No, I am NOT saying that those two things are equal. I am just giving you a slightly different propsition, to ponder.

571 posted on 12/24/2001 12:43:13 AM PST by nopardons
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To: DouglasKC
This kid was not an adulterer. Your comparison is moot.
572 posted on 12/24/2001 12:53:54 AM PST by Danielle
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To: DouglasKC
Having sex is neither illegal nor immoral. What law of God's says that we cannot have sex? It is wrong in your point of view only, and maybe a few other radicals.
573 posted on 12/24/2001 1:00:26 AM PST by Danielle
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To: Cultural Jihad
Man is a supernatural creation? So does that mean he cannot desire or enjoy sex?
574 posted on 12/24/2001 1:01:42 AM PST by Danielle
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To: Scorpio
What twisted sexual fantasy did this virginal boy have that you are speaking of?
575 posted on 12/24/2001 1:03:13 AM PST by Danielle
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To: Lazarus Long
Is it really up to you to give permission? Especially if the person at that age is facing death?
576 posted on 12/24/2001 1:04:34 AM PST by Danielle
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To: Scorpio
He didn't request to have sex with his mother, or sister. A person that would suggest that has sick thoughts in their own right. Consensual sex is not dirty if no one is committed to another person.
577 posted on 12/24/2001 1:07:11 AM PST by Danielle
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To: OneidaM
What a depressing thread, all around.
578 posted on 12/24/2001 4:00:15 AM PST by Hugh Akston
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To: coloradan
"...And I do! Childhood cancer is nearly always genetic, and that places blame for the whole sad situation squarely at the parent's feet..."

Good call.

You're right, they may also have that to feel remorse for as well.

579 posted on 12/24/2001 4:32:48 AM PST by DWSUWF
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To: ~Kim4VRWC's~
"...So you are one of those types who blame parents for the sins of their children?..."

A more careful reading of my comment, “…You've got to assign a healthy dose of blame to the parents here…” would reveal that I’m not speculating that this blame is at the 100% level.

Had I intended to take the absolute position I would have used a different set of words to convey that thought. One possibility would have been to substitute the word: ‘the’ for the words: ‘a healthy dose of’ in my comment above.

"...Do you have kids?..."

Three. All top drawer performers.

"...What do you think of those families where one child out of 3 or 5 becomes the black sheep? Do you blame the parents? Just curious...

There are certainly cases where the most plausible explanation for a given child’s failure to develop normally would appear to fall into the ‘Bad Seed’ category. Most failures, however, involve parental failure of one sort or another.

It’s important to note that a parent or parents can fail, miserably, and be completely oblivious to their failure. The mere belief that you’ve been a ‘good parent’ does not automatically make it so. In cases where there is evidence suggesting otherwise (an errant child) at least some degree of parental failure is the most likely cause of the child’s failure to develop correctly.

580 posted on 12/24/2001 4:58:02 AM PST by DWSUWF
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