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Dying boy, 15, gets wish: losing virginity
Chicago Sun Times ^ | 12/23/01 | BY BENJAMIN ERRETT

Posted on 12/23/2001 6:26:24 AM PST by Mopp4

A terminally ill boy had his dying wish granted in Australia this month, but ethicists are still at odds over whether it was the right thing to do.
The wish was not for a trip to Disneyland or to meet a famous sports star. Instead, the 15-year-old wanted to lose his virginity before he died of cancer. The boy, who remains anonymous but was called Jack by the Australian media, did not want his parents to know about his request. Because of his many years spent in the hospital, he had no girlfriend or female friends.
Jack died last week, but not before having his last wish granted. Without the knowledge of his parents or hospital staff, friends arranged an encounter with a prostitute outside of hospital premises. All precautions were taken, and the organizers made sure the act was fully consensual. The issue has sparked fierce debate over the legal and ethical implications of granting the boy's request. By law, Jack was still a child, and the woman involved could in theory face charges for having sex with a minor. The debate was sparked by the hospital's child psychologist, who wrote a letter to "Life Matters," a radio show in which academics debate ethical and moral dilemmas. The scenario was presented in the abstract, with no details about the boy's identity.

"He had been sick for quite a long period, and his schooling was very disrupted, so he hadn't had many opportunities to acquire and retain friends, and his access to young women was pretty poor," the psychologist said recently in an interview with Australia's Daily Telegraph newspaper. "But he was very interested in young women and was experiencing that surge of testosterone that teenage boys have." Hospital staff initially wanted to pool donations to pay for a prostitute, but the ethical and legal implications prevented them from doing so. The psychologist presented members of the clergy with the dilemma and found no clear answer. "It really polarized them," he said. "About half said, 'What's your problem?' And the other half said [it] demeans women and reduces the sexual act to being just a physical one."

Dr. Stephen Leeder, dean of medicine at the University of Sydney and a "Life Matters" panelist, said the issue was a difficult one. "I pointed out that public hospitals operated under the expectation that they would abide by state law," he said. "While various things doubtless are done that are at the edge of that, it's important the public has confidence that the law will be followed." Jack's psychologist, who works with children in palliative care, said the desire was driven in part by a need for basic human contact. "In a child dying over a long period of time, there is often a condition we call 'skin hunger,'" he said. The terminally ill child yearns for non-clinical contact because "mostly when people touch them, it's to do something unpleasant, something that might hurt." Leeder called the diagnosis "improbable." Judy Lumby, the show's other panelist and the executive director of the New South Wales College of Nursing, argued that the details as presented made it abundantly clear the boy's wish ought to be granted. "I said that I would try my darndest as a nurse to do whatever I could to make sure his wish came true," she said. "I just think we are so archaic in the way we treat people in institutions. Certainly, if any of my three daughters were dying, I'd do whatever I could, and I'm sure that you would, too." National Post


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
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Comment #201 Removed by Moderator

To: innocentbystander
I would have in a heartbeat if I knew how much "fun" I would be having running a company for the last seven years. I thinks Im a little too old now (30)?
202 posted on 12/23/2001 11:46:22 AM PST by bigcheese
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Comment #203 Removed by Moderator

To: innocentbystander
Even Christ himself gave people a choice; why not you?

Ah, there's that statement deifying free will. So do only perverts and criminals have free will? Or can family and neighbors and voters and conservative legislators and policmen and judges and jurors and bailiffs exercize free will, too?

204 posted on 12/23/2001 11:48:06 AM PST by Cultural Jihad
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To: Cultural Jihad
No, and I dont think a person waging a holy war over culture is one to make that judgement either.
205 posted on 12/23/2001 11:48:09 AM PST by bigcheese
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Comment #206 Removed by Moderator

To: FatherTorque;sungirl
FT - God is a HE?

Sungirl - Where in The 10 Commandmants does it say thou shalt not have sex?

207 posted on 12/23/2001 11:49:05 AM PST by Osinski
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To: innocentbystander
I dont disagree; but I would respect his wish to experience what his body longed for if in that moment, he hurt no one, corrupted no one, and was made happy before his life ended. I think we as a society can allow that, cant we?

Don't you have anything better to do than to stick your busy-body nose into the business of a dying 15 year old? Some individualist you turned out to be.

208 posted on 12/23/2001 11:49:46 AM PST by Cultural Jihad
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To: innocentbystander
"We as a society" should have no say in allowing or disallowing it. It should be a private matter and we as a society should respect that.
209 posted on 12/23/2001 11:50:30 AM PST by ValerieUSA
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Comment #210 Removed by Moderator

To: Osinski
FT - God is a HE?

That's what they told me in Baptist Sunday school. ;)

211 posted on 12/23/2001 11:51:35 AM PST by FatherTorque
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To: OneidaM
I watch his wife deal with that fact also...and I see the love she has for him and the pain she goes through knowing he is leaving her soon. And I see the frustration in his face when he tries to speak to people but the words can't come out and his eyes well up in tears.

Your post made me cry. I know too well what that feels like. I hope your Christmas is peaceful and as happy as can be in the circumstances.

212 posted on 12/23/2001 11:51:43 AM PST by Happygal
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To: NAMMARINE
Trust me, you catch this one called "Bridgett Ann" and you will be on your hands and knees trying to re-enlist. Then again, she prolly is NOT in the corps right now. Doubt they would smile upon a strip act.
213 posted on 12/23/2001 11:51:48 AM PST by bigcheese
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Comment #214 Removed by Moderator

To: Sungirl
No rules...no order.

Whose rules?

215 posted on 12/23/2001 11:51:59 AM PST by Osinski
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Comment #216 Removed by Moderator

To: Cultural Jihad
There has been one thing in particular that has really bothered me lately - liberal "zero tolerance" laws. Now I see the same mentality here from the Christian right-wing. Anybody with a brain will concede that judgement must come into play for some matters. Blindly following the rulebook (the Bible) is folly.
217 posted on 12/23/2001 11:52:59 AM PST by NeoCrusade
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To: Sungirl
RE;#137 I would have to say that humans have been having sex as long as I can remember,(Being a Geezer lets me say things like that)and one 15 year old on their death bed having it is not going to change the scheme of things one iota.

Casual sex is of course a risky behavour as it has always been,that doesn't stop it from happening.
Even at my advanced age of 55,I would be circumspect about who I had sex with and about who they had had sex with.Funny thing,I can remember sex,(it's been a while)but I really don't remember why.Something to do with chemistry no doubt.

What's really sad here is that there wasn't a WOMAN at that hospital that had enough compassion and self image to take care of the job herself.

218 posted on 12/23/2001 11:53:10 AM PST by tet68
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To: Cultural Jihad; sungirl
You can twist and spin my comments anyway you choose if that is what it takes to make you feel like you are more or most moral/ethical or whatever point it is you are trying to make.

I have no doubt that folks here who can contain thier emotions and step off of the soap box of ethical and moral holier-than-thou preachings understood what I was saying.

Now enjoy the holidays with your family, you never know what tomorrow might bring.

219 posted on 12/23/2001 11:53:47 AM PST by Neets
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To: Osinski
Where in The 10 Commandmants does it say thou shalt not have sex?

I hope your 12 year old doesn't tell you this. Especially if she has gone through some kind of traumatic experience and is deemed an adult by some of the people in here.

220 posted on 12/23/2001 11:54:09 AM PST by Sungirl
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