Posted on 12/23/2001 6:26:24 AM PST by Mopp4
A terminally ill boy had his dying wish granted in Australia this month, but ethicists are still at odds over whether it was the right thing to do.
The wish was not for a trip to Disneyland or to meet a famous sports star. Instead, the 15-year-old wanted to lose his virginity before he died of cancer. The boy, who remains anonymous but was called Jack by the Australian media, did not want his parents to know about his request. Because of his many years spent in the hospital, he had no girlfriend or female friends.
Jack died last week, but not before having his last wish granted. Without the knowledge of his parents or hospital staff, friends arranged an encounter with a prostitute outside of hospital premises. All precautions were taken, and the organizers made sure the act was fully consensual. The issue has sparked fierce debate over the legal and ethical implications of granting the boy's request. By law, Jack was still a child, and the woman involved could in theory face charges for having sex with a minor. The debate was sparked by the hospital's child psychologist, who wrote a letter to "Life Matters," a radio show in which academics debate ethical and moral dilemmas. The scenario was presented in the abstract, with no details about the boy's identity.
"He had been sick for quite a long period, and his schooling was very disrupted, so he hadn't had many opportunities to acquire and retain friends, and his access to young women was pretty poor," the psychologist said recently in an interview with Australia's Daily Telegraph newspaper. "But he was very interested in young women and was experiencing that surge of testosterone that teenage boys have." Hospital staff initially wanted to pool donations to pay for a prostitute, but the ethical and legal implications prevented them from doing so. The psychologist presented members of the clergy with the dilemma and found no clear answer. "It really polarized them," he said. "About half said, 'What's your problem?' And the other half said [it] demeans women and reduces the sexual act to being just a physical one."
Dr. Stephen Leeder, dean of medicine at the University of Sydney and a "Life Matters" panelist, said the issue was a difficult one. "I pointed out that public hospitals operated under the expectation that they would abide by state law," he said. "While various things doubtless are done that are at the edge of that, it's important the public has confidence that the law will be followed." Jack's psychologist, who works with children in palliative care, said the desire was driven in part by a need for basic human contact. "In a child dying over a long period of time, there is often a condition we call 'skin hunger,'" he said. The terminally ill child yearns for non-clinical contact because "mostly when people touch them, it's to do something unpleasant, something that might hurt." Leeder called the diagnosis "improbable." Judy Lumby, the show's other panelist and the executive director of the New South Wales College of Nursing, argued that the details as presented made it abundantly clear the boy's wish ought to be granted. "I said that I would try my darndest as a nurse to do whatever I could to make sure his wish came true," she said. "I just think we are so archaic in the way we treat people in institutions. Certainly, if any of my three daughters were dying, I'd do whatever I could, and I'm sure that you would, too." National Post
btw, sarcasm doesn't really fit you...
I agree. My mam died earlier this year, and was only diagnosed as `terminal' a week before she died. During that week, I did EVERYTHING possible to make her last moments happy and fulfilled. *S*
I have a friend of mine who's husband is on his deathbed right now, dying of cancer..tumors in the brain. The sweetest people in the world you'd ever want to meet. I've known them for over 10 years. I knew this man when he was a fully functioning, viable, loving, caring, hardworking husband and father.
He is now bed-ridden, fully cognizant of the fact that he has months if not weeks left here, with round the clock hospice care.
I watch his wife deal with that fact also...and I see the love she has for him and the pain she goes through knowing he is leaving her soon. And I see the frustration in his face when he tries to speak to people but the words can't come out and his eyes well up in tears.
If there was anything I could do for this man to give him the last thing on earth he wants, I would.
And I am in no position to judge whether his wish is or is not a moral or ethical one.
I realize this man is in his 40's and the boy in question is in his teens...but when you are dying and you know you are dying...age is just a damn stinking number.
Have a Happy and Merry Christmas with your family.
I thought my post was dripping with the sarcasm I intended. (Didn't you read the gasp! part?)
And I am in no position to judge whether his wish is or is not a moral or ethical one.
How ludicrous of a moral construct it is to claim that if someone is on their death bed and really wants something badly that it ought to be handed to him regardless of whether it is right or wrong. So when your friend claims he wants to rape the nurse, will you hold her down for him? Your statement of being unable to judge actions as good or bad, tolerable or intolerable makes you unfit for self-governance, but take heart: there is a Nanny Government designed just for moral-cowards like you.
I think the boy's dying wish is incredibly poignantly sad. It proved he is not grown up enough to want what he is really going to miss out on by not living long enough to achieve adulthood. He was stricken at the stage where sex is a selfish fantasy, detached from the reality of a relationship with a woman he loves and who loves him in return.
He has the choice of being a boy who dies with or without having sex, but he doesn't have the choice to grow up and become a man in love. It's heartbreaking.
And who are you to judge whether the wish is a good one for him or a bad one?
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