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Dying boy, 15, gets wish: losing virginity
Chicago Sun Times ^ | 12/23/01 | BY BENJAMIN ERRETT

Posted on 12/23/2001 6:26:24 AM PST by Mopp4

A terminally ill boy had his dying wish granted in Australia this month, but ethicists are still at odds over whether it was the right thing to do.
The wish was not for a trip to Disneyland or to meet a famous sports star. Instead, the 15-year-old wanted to lose his virginity before he died of cancer. The boy, who remains anonymous but was called Jack by the Australian media, did not want his parents to know about his request. Because of his many years spent in the hospital, he had no girlfriend or female friends.
Jack died last week, but not before having his last wish granted. Without the knowledge of his parents or hospital staff, friends arranged an encounter with a prostitute outside of hospital premises. All precautions were taken, and the organizers made sure the act was fully consensual. The issue has sparked fierce debate over the legal and ethical implications of granting the boy's request. By law, Jack was still a child, and the woman involved could in theory face charges for having sex with a minor. The debate was sparked by the hospital's child psychologist, who wrote a letter to "Life Matters," a radio show in which academics debate ethical and moral dilemmas. The scenario was presented in the abstract, with no details about the boy's identity.

"He had been sick for quite a long period, and his schooling was very disrupted, so he hadn't had many opportunities to acquire and retain friends, and his access to young women was pretty poor," the psychologist said recently in an interview with Australia's Daily Telegraph newspaper. "But he was very interested in young women and was experiencing that surge of testosterone that teenage boys have." Hospital staff initially wanted to pool donations to pay for a prostitute, but the ethical and legal implications prevented them from doing so. The psychologist presented members of the clergy with the dilemma and found no clear answer. "It really polarized them," he said. "About half said, 'What's your problem?' And the other half said [it] demeans women and reduces the sexual act to being just a physical one."

Dr. Stephen Leeder, dean of medicine at the University of Sydney and a "Life Matters" panelist, said the issue was a difficult one. "I pointed out that public hospitals operated under the expectation that they would abide by state law," he said. "While various things doubtless are done that are at the edge of that, it's important the public has confidence that the law will be followed." Jack's psychologist, who works with children in palliative care, said the desire was driven in part by a need for basic human contact. "In a child dying over a long period of time, there is often a condition we call 'skin hunger,'" he said. The terminally ill child yearns for non-clinical contact because "mostly when people touch them, it's to do something unpleasant, something that might hurt." Leeder called the diagnosis "improbable." Judy Lumby, the show's other panelist and the executive director of the New South Wales College of Nursing, argued that the details as presented made it abundantly clear the boy's wish ought to be granted. "I said that I would try my darndest as a nurse to do whatever I could to make sure his wish came true," she said. "I just think we are so archaic in the way we treat people in institutions. Certainly, if any of my three daughters were dying, I'd do whatever I could, and I'm sure that you would, too." National Post


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Comment #161 Removed by Moderator

Comment #162 Removed by Moderator

To: innocentbystander
OK, last post ... What amazes me is that people can get on here and personally condemm a boy to hell .... what happens? Nothing. I make a remark --- NOT to ANYONE specifically--- and I get pulled. I guess the times are a-changin'..... last time I read, it said "No personal attacks". What about the boy? Heck, I didn't even mention a name.
163 posted on 12/23/2001 10:59:27 AM PST by bigcheese
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Comment #164 Removed by Moderator

To: Sungirl
What are you shocked about? Seriously. My words? If it was his last wish and he was going to die...what is the harm? Let him enjoy his last days on Earth. He is gone now and people should let it be.The kid suffered enough.
165 posted on 12/23/2001 11:01:55 AM PST by My Favorite Headache
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Comment #166 Removed by Moderator

Comment #167 Removed by Moderator

To: innocentbystander
Klinton carrying around a bible...hmmm...
OK I give up...nothing comes to mind. When I see CLinton doing anything..I know its a lie. What's your point?

While your at it...please tell me when a child is not a child...and when someone becomes responsible?

168 posted on 12/23/2001 11:03:44 AM PST by Sungirl
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To: Sungirl
OK, this does it. This is my last-last post :-) A child stops becoming a child when he has to face adult issues. The biggest of which is: DEATH.
169 posted on 12/23/2001 11:05:57 AM PST by bigcheese
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To: My Favorite Headache
I am shocked because I know how important it is for the 'grown-ups' to set examples even if it is just words. People should be condemning this. Next thing you know....this kid who is on his deathbed is going to request Pam Anderson to have sex with. Then what? If this kids wish is acceptable to you...why not the Pam Anderson request? I just can't believe you don't see that. I thought sex was something to be cherished and just not taken so casually...I am really really surprised at some the attitudes in here.
170 posted on 12/23/2001 11:09:41 AM PST by Sungirl
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Comment #171 Removed by Moderator

To: Sungirl
OK, my last-last-last post of the day. I seriously dont see this as a "casual sex" event. the kid was dying, fer cryin out loud. I betcha it was not "casual" to him. And I doubt very seriously if any of his friends thought it was casual sex either.
172 posted on 12/23/2001 11:12:10 AM PST by bigcheese
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To: OneidaM;Dog
Uh oh. You pinged Arthur McGowan.
173 posted on 12/23/2001 11:12:28 AM PST by b4its2late
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To: Hildy
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

174 posted on 12/23/2001 11:13:22 AM PST by Sungirl
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Comment #175 Removed by Moderator

Comment #176 Removed by Moderator

To: bigcheese
OH!! So when a big issue happens to a 12 year old..like his/her parents are killed in an automobile accident....they are adults! OK!!! THAnks!
177 posted on 12/23/2001 11:14:49 AM PST by Sungirl
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To: innocentbystander
Sungirl; when a person of any age becomes responsible for their lives, and can manage to live as a productive member of society without dependance on others for their very existance, they are what I would call responsible.

I didn't realize this poor kid on his deathbed was self-sufficient. My mistake.

178 posted on 12/23/2001 11:16:40 AM PST by Sungirl
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To: innocentbystander
Well (this is my last-last-last-last post for today),
As a verse from the "new" testament says, "why throw pearls before swine" ?!?!?!?

;-)

besides, ive got wash to do and a house to clean and on and on. BTW, you were a marine? I always pegged you as female.... (OK PC POLICE: I CONCEED THERE ARE SOME FEMALE MARINES NOWADAYS)
179 posted on 12/23/2001 11:18:37 AM PST by bigcheese
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To: Sungirl
Why don't you step away from this thread for a while, take a few deep breaths, come back and read the article in it's entirety.

I am not sure how many adolescent boys you have been around, but this kid was 15 yrs old...the PEAK of puberty...ever heard of testosterone????? Even if he was dying I am sure his body was still going throught those changes.

He WAS NOT FOR SURE looking for a "LASTING RELATIONSHIP" as he was on his deathbed.

And your Pamela Anderson argument is just as silly as your notion that he was merely seeking "casual sex". Would you prefer he had requested as his dying wish a final ride on the worlds larger roller-coaster ride????

Sheesh,,,like it or not, I think those who arranged this liason for him handled it the right way. I am happy for him.

See ya.

180 posted on 12/23/2001 11:20:51 AM PST by Neets
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