[Aristophanes]

Not to mention the Segway's warp-9 Dork Coefficient.

Perfect. (Though you might oughta be a little careful around here, these days -- what with all the Hobbitt nerds hanging around FR.)

[IowaHawk]

I'm not a violent person. But the sight of a grown man on one of these, wearing a helmet, drives me into an uncontrollable wedgie-giving rage.