[shaggy eel]

,,, here's one of my favourites...

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon...

Demon: "Why so glum?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here..."

Demon: "Are you a drinking man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and fresca... we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!"

Guy: "Gee that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You know it!"

Demon: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie- you're already dead, remember?"

Guy: "Wow...that's...awesome!"

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble?"

Guy: "Why, yes I do."

Demon: "Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well, you're dead anyhow. You're gonna love Wednesdays."

Demon: You into drugs?

Guy: "Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean?...

Demon: "That's right! - Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want; you're dead who cares! O.D.!!

> >Guy: WOW, how cool is THAT?!!! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!!

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Nah...."

Demon: "Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."

[jjbrouwer]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.



Why did the pervert cross the road?

He couldn't get his nob out of the chicken.

[StoneColdGOP]

ROTFFLMGDAO! That's great! It almost sounded like Las Vegas, I was getting excited about Hell until Friday...

[klee]

That is one of the most perverse jokes Ive ever heard.

Good on ya mate.

[nomad]

A guy dies and goes to hell, on arrival he is greeted by a demon and shown a hall with an infinite number of doors. He is told he must enter thru one and there he will spend eternity.

The first discloses a room full of people being burned by fire and brimstone, horrified, he declines.

The second reveals a room filled with demons and serpents stabbing and biting their victims, even more horrified, he again declines.

The third is dimly lighted and filled with a bunch of people standing up to their waists in liquid sh*t and smoking cigarets,

"At least this isn`t too bad," he thinks," and I do smoke".

So he decides to enter this room. No sooner does he lite up a smoke when a demon enters and says:

"ALL RIGHT! SMOKING BREAKS OVER, BACK ON YOUR F#C#ING HEADS!