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Survey finds 10 partners before marriage 'normal'
Drudge ^ | 10th December 2001 | Ananova

Posted on 12/09/2001 9:59:41 PM PST by Don Myers

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To: Bella_Bru
"Oh Don, you know there are women that use men as sexual playthings too."

Yes, of course. I took women off the pedestal many years ago.

361 posted on 12/10/2001 6:34:36 PM PST by Don Myers
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To: Bella_Bru
I'm not making excuses for men, for I think that premarital sex is wrong for both men and women. True, people slip, although that is not right. However, the point is to not make a habit of it. Thus, if you truly respect yourself, your values and morals, you will choose to abstain from a lifestyle that is unbecoming you.

I do agree with you in that manner that the rule should apply to both men and women.

362 posted on 12/10/2001 6:34:45 PM PST by FreedomFriend
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To: marajade
You wrote to independentmind:

[Just to be clear, I agree with you. But I think it is foolish not to recognize that the consequences for girl who is promiscuous are often much more severe than for a boy.] So do I.

But that's all I was saying! You mean we could have avoided all that? :)

363 posted on 12/10/2001 6:34:54 PM PST by Dr. Frank fan
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Comment #364 Removed by Moderator

To: Bella_Bru
"I took it as a sign that we should be louder."

And now the poor neighbor gets blown out the window?

365 posted on 12/10/2001 6:38:38 PM PST by Don Myers
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To: tortoise
Tortoise, I'm not going to deny that it happens among churchgoers. I know all well that it does. In fact, "Focus on the Family" had a program related to this issue. It gave a statistic that some 50% of regularly-attending single men and women had had sex before marriage. Again, I know that this is all too real.

However, there are significant numbers of virgins within the church. If fifty percent aren't, what's the other fifty percent? Furthermore, I would tend to believe that those numbers would be somewhat higher across different denominations and regions.

366 posted on 12/10/2001 6:38:44 PM PST by FreedomFriend
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To: Don Myers
She moved. But it wasn't because of me.
367 posted on 12/10/2001 6:39:19 PM PST by Bella_Bru
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To: homeschool mama
We believe in abstinence. We encourage it. We know it works.

Amen, homeschool mama!! There is a lot more power in the words when you have lived it yourself. Our kids have chosen a life of purity (yes, even our young adult sons), and my husband and I are praying that their future spouses are choosing it too. Knowing you are the only one makes marriage stronger and sweeter.

368 posted on 12/10/2001 6:39:35 PM PST by ohioWfan
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To: Bella_Bru
"but I do believe that some of the virgin seekers are looking for an easy time in bed."

I don't think so.

369 posted on 12/10/2001 6:39:53 PM PST by Don Myers
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To: FreedomFriend
"Dr." Frank, what makes you think that men cannot rise about nature.

I suppose I will not say that they "cannot". Obviously marajade's husband is an example. ;)

To be more precise, I am saying (or trying to say) that in general they will not. And, that it is foolishness to expect the majority of men to do so, and to stamp one's feet when they don't and cry "you stink!" or "double standard!"

In saying this I am speaking about men in general, not this or not particular case. There can be exceptions - just don't expect it. There is, after all, a reason we call it "human nature"....

To me, that is like saying that we have no role in our own destiny. It reeks with insanity, for the simple point being that one has to want to control themselves. I'm doing it, so I don't know why anyone else can't. I have no desire to have sex before marriage, yet I still get just as excited as the next guy when I see a beautiful woman.

Ok.

Thus, what's your point?

I think my point now is that I should have taken more care to put the words "IN GENERAL" after each and every sentence I wrote :P

370 posted on 12/10/2001 6:39:57 PM PST by Dr. Frank fan
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To: Aedammair
Theory is a beautiful thing!
371 posted on 12/10/2001 6:41:14 PM PST by technochick99
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To: Don Myers
How many after?
372 posted on 12/10/2001 6:41:27 PM PST by The Raven
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To: innocentbystander
No, not at all.

My suggestion was scary, huh?

373 posted on 12/10/2001 6:41:40 PM PST by ValerieUSA
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To: Chemnitz
Firstly, let me commend you for helping out at a pro-life counseling center...

My understanding these days is that there is tremendous peer pressure to "perform", and "act" older for BOTH genders of teens. Pop culture continually bludgeons teens with sexual inuendo -- boys are expected to condone and emulate the sexual obsessions of pop stars from M-TV, videos, movies and now even wrestling, and may be derided if they don't join happen to revel in the reindeer games; girls are affected by the above, AND specifically by overtly sexual pop heroes like Britney Spears and her message of "putting out will make you popular."

And sadly, your observation is correct -- younger and younger has become more the rule rather than the exception...

374 posted on 12/10/2001 6:44:01 PM PST by F16Fighter
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To: Economist_MA
"It differs from other skills that love and affection are the most important ingredients, but anyone who claims that the purely technical aspects of it don't need to be learned doesn't know them."

You sound like an NEA memo on sex ed in schools. It doesn't fly.

375 posted on 12/10/2001 6:44:05 PM PST by Don Myers
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To: Skywalk
IN the final analysis, it seems that perhaps much of the baggage or issues that people carry with them, are the result of sexual dalliances gone bad. Often this is an emotional thing, but when you join that with the physical, the outcome is more significant.

Boy this sentence says it all. Baggage is a real turn off. I was pretty wild in my younger days; spent a few years with someone who beat me up a few times, but even with all that I have as much enthusiasm for the possiblity of love as I did when I was a teen.

And I think the reason for that is that I took responsibility for the games I played, and I didn't lie to myself about why it all went awry, and I left him to do the same.

And because of that I was able to start anew. There is nothing so wonderful as that very early thrill of attraction between two people; before sex has even begun to take shape in their minds. Because that early attraction while composed of a physcial element is more about a kindredness, in my experience.

376 posted on 12/10/2001 6:45:55 PM PST by Aedammair
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To: technochick99
True; she replies sheepishly...
377 posted on 12/10/2001 6:47:14 PM PST by Aedammair
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To: Bella_Bru
True story, happened to me...

While in college, I had an apartment with a few other girls. We had some very cute med students living beneath us.

About 5 nights a week, I would exercise in my room by jogging on a mini-trampline for 45-60 minutes, with no breaks.

One day, the guys saw me and one of my roomies outside and started talking to us. They asked who had the room next to the kitchen. When I said that I did, they asked what I did almost every night around 9 pm. Turns out that they heard a soft bouncing and squeaking noise.... I was mortified. We all had a big laugh when we cleared up the misconceptions, but evidently I was quite popular in the 1st floor apartment for quite some time! Needless to say, I moved my exercising to the living room.

378 posted on 12/10/2001 6:48:11 PM PST by technochick99
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Comment #379 Removed by Moderator

To: Bella_Bru
"But it wasn't because of me."

Bella, are you being too modest?

380 posted on 12/10/2001 6:48:29 PM PST by Don Myers
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