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Survey finds 10 partners before marriage 'normal'
Drudge ^ | 10th December 2001 | Ananova

Posted on 12/09/2001 9:59:41 PM PST by Don Myers

Survey finds 10 partners before marriage 'normal'

The majority of young people think it is normal for a person to have at least 10 sexual partners before marriage.

A survey has also found that three in 10 believe it is acceptable for a girl to lose her virginity before the age of 15.

Research carried out by Brook, the youth sex advisory service, says there is a "cultural change" in young people's attitudes towards sex.

Some 64% of men and 54% of women agreed that it was acceptable for a person to sleep with more than 10 partners before getting married.

But the survey, which questioned people aged 17 to 25, also showed that they wanted more information about sex and contraception.

Men admitted to getting most of their knowledge about contraception from TV and magazines, while women learned the most from magazines and their mothers.

Half of all the young women surveyed said they wished that teachers had supplied them with more information about preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Brook chief executive Jan Barlow said: "Young people have an increasing number of sexual partners and they are saying that's OK.

"But at the same time they don't have the information and access to services that they need.

"Young people must seek out advice and information in order to make their choices and to understand how to protect themselves both against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous
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Comment #321 Removed by Moderator

To: Enough is ENOUGH
"What about after marriage?"

Many married people then begin playing revolving beds. Many men and women who are used to multiple partners may not really settle down into a monogamous relationship.

322 posted on 12/10/2001 5:50:58 PM PST by Don Myers
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To: Aedammair
that such biological difference is not inconsequential

True, that is why men have been able to hold woman under their thumb for so long. Now we have effective contraceptive. Men are now forced to recognize that their partner is a sexual being and treat her well. Big change. Big change for the better of all women.

323 posted on 12/10/2001 5:54:13 PM PST by pcl
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To: innocentbystander
Innocentbytander, I think I have a better grip on the subject than you do as I not only have the benefit of being a woman, but have also discussed the subject with many women.

You may in fact know a lot of women who think of sex and love as two completely separate things, but I assure you, they are not typical. And I am not projecting anything.

324 posted on 12/10/2001 5:55:52 PM PST by independentmind
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To: pcl
PCL, you haven't a clue. Oh yeah, this is what we virgin seekers fear. Oh, please. That's the weakest argument that you could have made. Furthermore, don't you think that maybe, just maybe, an individual who would want a mate who has enough respect for themself so as to not want to sleep around. Furthermore, don't you think that the cheating arena comes into play.

I find it sad that you actually think that you know what's the truth when, in fact, we know what is the absolute truth, and if you don't believe in the Bible, there are the studies to back up my claims. Why, because the Bible has stood the test of time, will continue to do so, and its teachings will always stand the test of time. However, some of you choose to omit them as not being of my opinion. Well, I'll give you that, many peoples' perceptions, often based on a sexual view of the world, leads them to have many fallic assertions about the legitimacy of marriage and the reasons why sex should only reside within the confinds of marriage. That is, in their flawed mentality, based on lust, they choose to omit rationality or common sense and, thus, try to encompass legitimacy to the irrational in any number of ways.

325 posted on 12/10/2001 5:59:31 PM PST by FreedomFriend
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Comment #326 Removed by Moderator

To: FreedomFriend
Singles departments at most churches are the place to look. There you will find respectable, good-moraled women. I know because I associate with them.

With all due respect, most of those women aren't virgins either. They ARE much better at masquerading as "proper" women than the general population though. I actually grew up essentially living in the church environment (my father was an ordained pastor of multiple denominations and a marriage counselor, among other things), and every church of every denomination that he worked for had the same kind of seedy activity going on as the general population, even among the highly placed people of the church. Much of it was kept tightly out of sight, but people behave pretty much the same everywhere regardless of affiliation. I got to see it or find out about it as a side-effect of my father's work, but most people in the congregations never had a clue.

Humans behave the same in pretty much any population. I knew lots of church girls who weren't virgins though everybody sure thought they were, based in part on the fact they were "church girls". I have found concentrations of virgins, but it was never at church.

327 posted on 12/10/2001 6:02:03 PM PST by tortoise
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To: FreedomFriend
See, not all of us agree with you. And we are allowed that 'frivolity'. I am only asking why so many men want virgins, and many of those men aren't virgins themselves.
328 posted on 12/10/2001 6:04:46 PM PST by Bella_Bru
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To: Don Myers
We have been discussing guys who just use women.

Oh Don, you know there are women that use men as sexual playthings too.

329 posted on 12/10/2001 6:06:22 PM PST by Bella_Bru
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To: Bella_Bru
you know there are women that use men as sexual playthings too.

And where can a fellow meet those women? ;-)

330 posted on 12/10/2001 6:07:35 PM PST by Mulder
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To: pcl
True, that is why men have been able to hold woman under their thumb for so long. Now we have effective contraceptive. Men are now forced to recognize that their partner is a sexual being and treat her well. Big change. Big change for the better of all women.

Since women have always spent more time rearing their sons than men have, since the beginning of time, and inculcating morality, or spirituality, or whatever term you would like to apply; I reject your philosophy.

In my opinion men have always recoginzed their mates as sexual beings. If I was ever under someone's thumb it was because I placed myself there. If a man was ever under mine then he placed himself there. I do not pity myself for having been there, and I feel no quilt for having kept him there. Our choices are our own; always have beeen, always will be.

331 posted on 12/10/2001 6:09:57 PM PST by Aedammair
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To: independentmind
I have always had this strange idea that GOOD sex had something to do with being in love with a person, but, hey, what do I know?

Good sex also leaves you sweaty, out of breath, and the neighbors pounding on the door.

332 posted on 12/10/2001 6:11:09 PM PST by Bella_Bru
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To: innocentbystander
Are these the kind of women that sound like they understand the difference between sex and love?

First there’s the hook–up. That’s where young men and women gather in some communal territory, like a frat house or bar, medicate themselves with liquor, and then engage in any range of sexual activities, oblivious to all factors beyond momentary attraction. The next stage is the dumping: the male disentangles himself from the perceived "clinginess" of the female’s attempt at emotional involvement. The final stage is the check–up, in which the thoughtful male makes sure that the dumped female is still in fairly good health and, if he is especially enlightened, offers her the chance to talk about "what went wrong." This three–tiered process is what is known as "having a relationship." Get used to it or get out.

A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue

333 posted on 12/10/2001 6:12:17 PM PST by independentmind
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To: Don Myers
10 partners before marriage? No wonder I feel cheated.......
334 posted on 12/10/2001 6:13:00 PM PST by rko1933
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To: Bella_Bru
I am only asking why so many men want virgins

They are afraid of the inevitable comparisons. Put differently, how's she ever going to find out that 5 minutes isn't a lot?
335 posted on 12/10/2001 6:13:43 PM PST by Economist_MA
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Comment #336 Removed by Moderator

To: innocentbystander
So how do you make sure your partner isn't confusing sex with love? Do you make it clear that the fling was "sex only," afterwards or before?
337 posted on 12/10/2001 6:18:33 PM PST by ValerieUSA
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To: Economist_MA
Post 335. Many men consider those women as loose or sluts if you will. These men don't want to increase the chances of coming in and finding the little woman on the floor with the mailman or whomever. Marriage is tough enough as it is without increasing your risks. I am talking about serious men, those who want a lasting relationship. It is easy enough to find the other kind of men. They come a dime a dozen.
338 posted on 12/10/2001 6:18:52 PM PST by Don Myers
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To: Bella_Bru
Believe it or not, this exactly describes the first (8 year long!!) relationship my wife had in her life. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. I still remember her enormous surprise when I went for a deep dive the first time we slept with each other - she had been made believe that this was something no man would ever do. It took me a rather long time to convince her that I didn't only do this to make her happy :-).
339 posted on 12/10/2001 6:19:57 PM PST by Economist_MA
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To: tortoise
A trend I've started to notice is "church-girls" or "moral virgins" who finally have had enough. I was surprised by one of my friends who visited me in the summer. She finally had sex with her bf, but I was shocked. I swore she'd stay virginal until marriage.

I think the virgin thing works best when the average marriage age is 15-20, but that just isn't the case anymore. Expecting a 26 year old man to keep waiting, and MAYBE he'll find someone isn't realistic.

That doesn't mean that some control on the part of both men and women isn't needed.

340 posted on 12/10/2001 6:20:37 PM PST by Skywalk
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