Posted on 12/09/2001 9:59:41 PM PST by Don Myers
Survey finds 10 partners before marriage 'normal'
The majority of young people think it is normal for a person to have at least 10 sexual partners before marriage.
A survey has also found that three in 10 believe it is acceptable for a girl to lose her virginity before the age of 15.
Research carried out by Brook, the youth sex advisory service, says there is a "cultural change" in young people's attitudes towards sex.
Some 64% of men and 54% of women agreed that it was acceptable for a person to sleep with more than 10 partners before getting married.
But the survey, which questioned people aged 17 to 25, also showed that they wanted more information about sex and contraception.
Men admitted to getting most of their knowledge about contraception from TV and magazines, while women learned the most from magazines and their mothers.
Half of all the young women surveyed said they wished that teachers had supplied them with more information about preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
Brook chief executive Jan Barlow said: "Young people have an increasing number of sexual partners and they are saying that's OK.
"But at the same time they don't have the information and access to services that they need.
"Young people must seek out advice and information in order to make their choices and to understand how to protect themselves both against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases."
Bless you. It's like a breath of fresh air!
We can be larger than this life. We can maintain our sanity, our principles, our morals; and we can try to do as much good in this life as we can while overlooking as much as possible the pain and anguish that must come to us in this life if we have the richness of spirit that we should have. There will often come disappointment and sorrow. That is a part of the human condition. But what matters is how we "steer our passage through the muddy waters of this foul ocean."
We can succumb to the evil of this world, or we can try to rise above it. No matter what or how deep the hurts can be, if we can gather the strength to be strong, our spirits can sing and soar with the eagles. And that is more important than all the hurts of this world.
Maybe it's my fault for spending so much effort on a man who has some severe trust issues. But I've found that where my heart is concerned I just can't flip a switch and turn off my feelings.
Regardless of whether or not there is someone for everyone I intend to live a happy life!
One, they asked people what they "think" is "normal", not how many partners they have actually had. Most people, except for a certain subset of teenage guys, wouldn't want to think of themselves as having had "too many" sexual partners, and so would probably be inclined to push their answer upwards: if they have had N partners, chances are their answer to this survey was greater than N.
Also: one should keep in mind that there is a difference between, say, what answer a guy might give to a survey like this ("10 partners before marriage is normal"), and what he would be likely to accept in a future bride. They may not be the same thing.
I have found myself in the position where I have a hard time even trusting in God. These times are very evil. But, I urge you to consider that avenue. There is one constant in an evil world, and that is God. He is real, no matter what many may say. He is sovereign. There is nothing that He cannot overcome. I give you that advice to do with as you please. Give Him a chance and see what happens in your life. You have nothing to lose by doing so.
I believe that you are correct. The young people are concerned with bed partners. But when it comes to actual marriage, I believe there are repercussions. I think that more people are staying single now.
Exactly. Guys may not admit it, either. They may like to say the whole time, "I'm cool with a girl who has had many many partners." They will want to appear "cool" and "not a prude". This has the added benefit of convincing lots of women that they can sleep around with no repercussions whatsoever.
But in the end, more often than not, it will affect how a guy sees whatever woman he's with - and the one he ends up marrying will not be one of the "cool" ones.
It is mostly the women who come out on the losing side of this equation.
A lot of the current crop of otherwise marriageable men has been ruined by feminism. Not only do these men not 'trust' women because masculinity has been so reviled by feminists -- they also distrust women because their own feminist mothers abandoned them for the sake of careers.
A large number of these guys have been feminized themselves by 'progressive' mothers and teachers. The result is a namby-pamby wishy-washy type I find it hard to believe any woman would want to marry.
Even without pre-marital sexual experience, if the newly wed man and wife truly understand marriage, they will learn to love and learn to please each other as an act of that love.
Maybe not, but I'd bet feminism poisoned her mind and made her think it acceptable to abandon her marriage and children. Ever see Kramer vs. Kramer?
I'm sure you realize that the flip side of your method is dangerous as well. I admire your insistence upon self control, respect, and personal responsibility, but if you put it in a sexual context, you're also giving your daughter the message that sex is an incredible, world-altering rush only to be enjoyed after you've had the prince ride up in a white horse and the storybook romance and wedding and all of that.
1) She may never get the prince on a white horse.
2) Even if she waits until her wedding night, she might think sex isn't all you cracked it up to be.
What I'm saying is that you may be setting her up for a really big fall. I know some women who grew up in real religious families who've got real sexual issues now, even as married women, because sex was such a huge issue once.
They are lying through their teeth.
"It is mostly the women who come out on the losing side of this equation."
Well, it is both men and women. The men get what they want earlier in life, but often they just have to settle with someone less than they may want just to get a woman, who may or may not fit their image of what a wife should be. Sometimes, it is more hope than expectations based on fact. A man or woman, who is used to making love to every man or woman in town and decides to settle down, may find that marriage is not what it should be. There is nothing wrong with marriage. The problem lies in the philandering nature of the man or woman who decides to give it a try.
Marriage is a commitment to another person, and the person, who is used to a commitment-free intimate relationship with others, often finds that commitment is not possible. Commitment to one person is not an easy thing if you are used to "screwing around" with every guy in town. That is why we have so many divorces these days.
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