Most everything you want can be had without a license. Get a will. Make joint purchases. Buy insurance and sign each other over as beneficiary. Make a living will. I bet plenty of insurance companies would look at group insurance offerings through your gay organizations on an individual basis. Talk to them and see.
It stops being just about your rights when you involve innocent kids who cannot choose. Leave the kids alone. That's my issue.
(Hi, by the way....I haven't talked to you in a while. You know we will NEVER agree on this subject!!!)