No offense, but you never had salvation, David... because you never surrendered your heart. You held out. Salvation is a life-changing experience... and you're never the same again. Christians aren't perfect...still human...still make mistakes and sin... but there is a deeper desire to become more like Christ...than to be a part of the world and it's ways. King David sinned... yet he was the apple of God's eye because he was truly repentant and humble before the Lord.
You "tried" salvation with your own will and deeds. It doesn't work that way. That's why you could so easily toss it aside when it became inconvenient or too hard to be "righteous" under your own power. We are made righteous by the Blood of Jesus, who took the burden of our sins upon Himself, then gave us the Holy Spirit in which we have power to overcome our sinful nature. It's a never-ending, lifelong learning experience. You never "arrive".... you're never "finished"...knowing ALL God is trying to teach us; it's a walk....and a relationship. It's like a marriage, which is the way He describes His relationship with the church (Christians). We're always growing, shifting and maturing.
You know you're saved when you have an intense hunger for the things of God, digging deep into His Word to know Him and have a personal relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ. (There is a "release" that you can physically feel.) It will be so precious that no amount of money can buy your decision to walk away or pervert His Word.....and no amount of influence or threat, could make you renounce your devotion to Him.
There are alot of fakes out there... who profess to be Christian to get your money and then live like the devil... outside of the limelight. They're not fooling God, just themselves; nor will they get away with it, ultimately. It's unfortunate, but the enemy's (Satan and his minions) mission is to kill, steal and destroy...thru deception.....as he presents himself as an "angel of light". Without the discernment that God gives us through His Holy Spirit, we fall prey to Satan's trickery and destruction.
What earnestly concerns me ...is that everyone will stand before God Almighty to give account of themselves. It is most dangerous for those who have known the things of God and walked away... than to have been totally ignorant of Him. He puts before you this day... life and death; choose life. :)
You mistake my reasons for 'tossing' my faith away. It was not inconvenient to have faith. It was not too hard to be righteous - I never even claimed to be righteous. I am just like everyone: trying to be the best person I can be and often failing horribly.
I lost my faith because I could not understand how a loving God could condemn anyone to an eternity of suffering. No matter who I talked to or what I read, this did not make sense. That unravelled my faith.
You say that those who have known God and then walked away will have the most to fear? As far as I can tell, there are only two options in the Bible: Heaven or Hell. ANd the only ones going to Heaven are believers. Assuming that the religion is right, I have no more to fear than any other non-believer. An eternity of suffering is an eternity of suffering. And if God exists and he sends me there for the crime of not believing in him, then he cannot be a just God. ANd if he is not a just God, you have as much to fear from him as everyone else...