No one's saying we shouldn't have bothered. We just shouldn't collude with this "culture" too much.
I'm not sure where I stand in that regard. On one hand, we need some interaction to be able to penetrate and disrupt any anti-US clandestine activities. On the other, you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas.
In regard to the "women" issue, I'm sure NOW will be glad to hold diversity classes throughout the Middle East, no?