What's a whining liberal to do?
I think someone has issues. LOL!
Can't decide if it's really Micheal Kinsey, Chris LaHane or Jame Carville.
They generally think that, and are generally mistaken.
No, that's not it....
Guess again....
I am laughing so hard.
She blew a 10 minute tantrum because my water glass was one inch to the left of its proper position.
Still living at home. Whatta ya think? Fifth grade? Or maybe even a Freshman?
WHat is so wrong with thinking things through and deciding what's right on a set of principles that don't shift? Being a liberal really is tiring...it's futility, everything they believe has been proven to be fundamentally wrong.
What's a whining liberal to do?
Or maybe not.
I'm finding it so confusing to listen to my priest dissect the intricacies of the Trinity - maybe I'll switch to Southern Baptist. I can shout "praise Jaysus" with the best of them.
First, it's "praise Jeezus!"
Second, we most certainly do believe in the Trinity.
Liberals are "cool". TV, movies, and the news media all say so. We're troglodytes; I now know that. I want to be part of the Beautiful People. I want to be accepted and lauded like....................well, Bill and Hillary.
I want to be able to commit all manner of unspeakable crimes and chicanery and be rewarded for it. I want people to kiss my ass because I claim to "feel" for 'em. That just sounds darned attractive, especially when compared to actually "doing" something.
I think liberals get laid much, much more often. I'm told that so much, I've come to believe it.
I want to traipse through life expecting others to do for me. I want Big Government to take the lion's share of what I earn (I earn a fair amount because I am a winner in "life's lottery", I've realized) and then wipe my bodily orifices for the rest of my life.
I want to throw money into useless social programs because, damn it, it makes me feel good. Just don't bring those folks who benefit from those programs to my neighborhood, k?
I want to be able to sneer at and undercut the values of Christian America. I want to be able to screw my eyes out, married or not, and not have someone tell me it's wrong. I want to be able to not only flaunt God's Law, but to deny His Son exists, subsume all such references, and humiliate and berate those who believe (or, Gaia forbid, say) otherwise because they're so damned inconvenient.
I want to judge those who I can now label "judgmental".
I wish to put the lives of silly looking animals that I've never seen except in National Geographic above the lives of unborn babies. Again, babies are "inconvenient". I want to march and wave signs and get laws passed and have the courts and police on my side.............while getting those nutbag Christian rightists arrested if they protest...........and see even more millions of annoying fetal masses eviscerated and gutted and ripped apart like so many tumors. I just won't have to see it or face the consequences since my mind will be one big, freakin' blank as a liberal.
I want to point and laugh at those who actually hold respect for documents written by white, oppressive, upper-class slave owners over 200 years ago..........and guffaw at the very notion that such "ideals" should actually apply to sophisticates such as myself.
I want to cheat regularly during elections, knowing full well that the media won't utter a word and that my foes, the Conservatives, are too disjointed to put up a proper defense from such things.
I want to be able to gut the military and all of those fat cats in the military-industrial complex because they've gotten SO big and SO inefficient and SO unjust..........and see that all of that money goes to the Federal Government for "social programs" which are NOT so big and NOT so ineff.............................well, they mean well and make me feel good.
I want to look at movie stars and actually feel warm and fuzzy when they go on about whales, "the environment", global warming, red-throated warblers, AIDS, etc. I just feel so left out.
I want to put gay people into every elected office in America, every classroom, and into every child care facility. They must be saints on earth because they like to screw members of their same sex; I know, 'cause the media tell me this. Which brings me to my final point.
......I sooooooooooooo want to believe the media. I want to trust Rather, Jennings, and Brokaw. I want to hang on CNN's every word. It just seems to work for so many millions of my fellow countrymen, and they don't seem to worry about our country or lay awake nights wondering how to "fight" for anything or anyone. They don't seem to have consciences............they seem so untroubled with "real" things..........
........and I DO need to sleep.
In this manner, they "get in touch with their feelings".
And stop the learning process. Forever, it would seem...
'Course it ain't. When you're a liberal you've got to keep all those lies straight.
I'm sort of sorry to have to admit it; but there's a lot of truth in this line; and it's witty.
GIRL GUIDES
When Cleopatra was made a Guide,
She let her militant duties slide,
And when her prattle had lost the battle,
Tactfully tickled a snake and died.
When Boadicea was made a Guide,
Her visage the vividest blue was dyed;
So the coat was made of a similar shade
And she travelled on wheels with the spokes outside.
When Lady Godiva was made a Guide,
The uniform had to be simplified,
But the rates were high, and she was not shy,
And they say it was only the horse that shied.
When Bloody Mary was made a Guide,
She told the people that when she died
Topographical notes on her views and her votes
If they took her to bits would be found inside.
When Queen Victoria was made a Guide,
She never excelled on the giant stride,
Or won a place in the obstacle race,
And historians doubt if she even tried.
When Messalina was made a Guide . . .
. . . But the trouble is that the form I've tried,
Though far from clever, might last for ever,
With hundreds and hundreds of names besides.
G.K. Chesterton