Posted on 11/01/2001 12:38:32 PM PST by RooRoobird14
Gawleeee, I sure am glad them two boys working for the FOX Network, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, is taking the time to educate us ignernt Phoenix fans about baseball, New York and C-ment ponds. A feller here told me that Buck and Tim must figure the onlyest reason Phoenix folks watched any of the World Series was to see if President George W. Bush might pause after throwing out the first ball to issue a pardon for one of our close relations.
(That did not happen, by the way.)
It has hardly been worth the effort to stretch an extension cord from the gas station out to our mobile home, then adjust the coat hanger on the TV in just the right way.
Tim and Buck spent much of the first game played in New York pointing out the particulars of Yankee Stadium. They said they figured some of us folks in the desert might never have seen nor heard tell of the place.
Buck and Tim even took a moment to remind us that Yankee Stadium don't have no C-ment pond, like our ball field in Phoenix. Which reminds me: Have any of y'all seen signs of the crick that feeds the pond in Bank One Ballpark? Cause I ain't.
Anyhoo, Buck and Tim has been real good about tellin' us how great them Yankees is. They even showed on TV the graveyard behind the fence at Yankee Stadium where they buried some gal named Ruth. Though they never did say what she done wrong to git herself buried in a ballpark instead of a proper cemetery.
Maybe she weren't a big enough Yankee fan, like Buck and Tim. Them two boys seems to love the Yankees more than we love guns, Hee Haw or prime time wrasslin'.
They make it sound like the Yankees all use golden gloves and (when Clemens is pitching) hurl lightning bolts, whilst our boys whittle their bats from fallen logs and fashion gloves outta stinkweed and duct tape.
One ol' boy in town tells me that Buck and Tim might not be feeling kindly towards Phoenix or the Diamondbacks on account of we wasn't hospitable enough to them and the other Easterners when the Yankees was here in the Valley.
He says we should of worked harder to make Buck and Tim feel more at home, maybe by digging some pot holes in the roads or having our sanitation workers pretend go out on strike. Or maybe we could've asked Arizona cabbies to charge Buck and Tim $300 to transport them from the airport to the wrong hotel.
If we'd done all that, perhaps the boys from the FOX network wouldn't be gnawing their way through our henhouse, so to speak.
Four whole games have come and gone in the series. I'd have wrote down these here impressions a lot sooner but my word processor was up on blocks and cousin Bubba from the computer lab was out huntin'.
In the meantime, folks back in New York been saying stuff like: There are ruts on the infield at BOB because they drag it with a plow. And: The only way Diamondbacks fans would get excited about the series is if Richard Petty was on their team.
(That last statement is absolutely false. We'd also get excited if Elvis was on our team.)
Still, try not to fret none. The fact is, we got some real fine broadcasters of our own. One goes by the name of Tom, though on account of we ain't too good at book learnin' in Arizona, he tends to spells it "Thom."
He gives the D-Backs their propers, however, which has a bunch of us headin' over to Wal-Mart to buy batteries for the transistor. We're watching the next ballgame on the radio.
It should.
And how do you explain the Yankees winning FOUR out of the previous FIVE World Series -- was the fix in there too? And why didn't the other teams throw their September games against the Mets, so that they could win, too?
Yes, but I believe the Geneva conference did limit how dirty you can fight! This is clearly a violation! LOL..
Pokey78 on this board said that "Kim" was Korean for "Mark Wohlers"!
We are currently in a War in the Middle East trying to pound the Hell out of terrorists who blew up the World Trade Center in New York City.
We have a World series that involves one team from the desert and the other from New York City.
Uhhh...hello.
:o)
You people sound like a bunch of 3 year olds !
The D Backs got their aSs's kicked three in a row!
Go buy some cheeze because you need it with your whine and crackers!
Privately, I can only imagine what Schilling has said. You pitch a guy on three days' rest, he pitches better than anyone could hope, and you lift him after 88 pitches? The only move I've seen that's worse was putting Kim back in last night after he threw 62 pitches in Game 4.
Yep--and they didn't split because that wuss Clements won't pitch in an NL park. How do they not start their best pitcher in game one? Or even game two? All their excuses are pure BS ("he's hurt...he's not been that sharp lately")...I'm sure Schilling would've buzzed one by his head just for Mikey's sake. I hope he pitches on Sunday against RJ if they get to seven.
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