[dighton]

Dear Mr. Dyson,

There are no openings at this time. We appreciate your interest in Jihad. Please sign up for the Charles Atlas course, and call us again once you've graduated.

Allahu Akbar, et cetera et cetera,

Osama bin Laden

[Hedgehog]

Please sign up for the Charles Atlas course, and call us again once you've graduated

Or to rip off a great punch line from a David Spade appearance on SNL:

"Call Adnon Kashogi(sp?); you need to buy some arms."