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Amazing, then, that with my familiarity with the English language, with literature and its genres, and with essay writing, I came up with completely different results.

Essays?? Essays?! OMG! You are killing me!! Are you a paid, published writer? Have you ever written a column for publication? Have you taken courses on journalism or freelance writing? No?? I have. On all counts. Comparing a stinkin' essay is superbly laughable!! Not to mention that my father happens to agree with me on this as well. Not that that would necessarily mean anything to you, except that he has a doctorate of education from George Peabody College for Teachers (look it up!), and teaches the course on writing doctoral dissertations there.

You can make any part of a compound sentence tongue-in-cheek. There are absolutely no rules to the contrary! Subject-verb agreement and pro-con agreement, yes. But tongue-in-cheek statements? No. Besides which, I don't know that she deviated at all in that sentence. I read the whole thing as tongue-in-cheek. She was venting, for heaven's sakes!! It wasn't a mandate! (Helloooooooo??)

P.S. You should be grateful that you made sooooooo many grammatical errors in that last post (and others) to me that pointing them out and referencing them would have taken up entirely too much space, besides being too time-consuming! Holy Strunk's!!

Essays?? Essays?! OMG! You are killing me!! Are you a paid, published writer? Have you ever written a column for publication? Have you taken courses on journalism or freelance writing? No?? I have. On all counts.

Journalistic snobbery, eh? Only someone who is a paid, published writer could possibly have the extensive training and acuity necessary to detect the subtleties of the Coulterian style. Get over yourself. Paid hacks are a dime a dozen.

Since you scoff at my supposed lack of qualifications, and ask on what basis I dare to make a judgment about someone else's writing, let me present my curriculum vitae. I attended one of the top two or three small liberal arts colleges in the country. I graduated with a major in British literature and a minor in mathematics. I undertook graduate coursework in philosophy and theology before being accepted to the University of Chicago's Ph.D. program in English literature (generally regarded as one of the top five programs in the country). I declined admission in favor of pursuing a career as a greedy capitalist entrepreneur. I have in fact been published in a few different journals, and have been a free-lance contributor to the local fishwrap.

Have I met your lofty standard to be worthy of having an opinion? I await your judgment with bated breath. (More sarcasm, in case you didn't get it).

Doctorate of education? Don't even get me started. Funny, you didn't strike me as the type to need Daddy's assurance that you were right.