26 Things the Movies have taught us

a friend | 9-29-2001

[Vigilanteman]

Pretty good for a thread called on the carpet by the posting police--

180 replies AND a second reply!

[Vince Ferrer]

Very good list. I would add:

101 - Having a Jacob's ladder in my laboratory looks nice, but it is not a necessary piece of laboratory equipment for any useful evil scheme. If fact, since only evil geniuses seem to have these in their laboratories, having one in my own laboratory might tip off the authorities.

[struwwelpeter]

Tambovskiy volk tvoy tovarishch!

[catonsville]

Some more WWII movie cliches:
When the Japanese major is interrogating the hero (usually James Cagney) he will be holding a shiny knife in his hand that relects light into the good guy's eyes. He will smile a lot showing buck teeth.

When asked how come he speaks such good English, the interrogator will almost always reply "Stanford University, 1938."

Japanese soldiers always run directly towards American machine guns.

[Aquinasfan]

A woman being chased through the woods by a monster or slasher will trip and fall to the ground. Then she will find it impossible to get up.

She will have enough energy to hold her hand across her face and scream hysterically for about 30 seconds.

[catonsville]

And all the actors and actresses playing sophomore high school students will look and actually be about 27 years of age.

[Orion]

The Schwarzenegger movie "The Last Action Hero" was a pretty good spoof on action movies. It's worth a rent.

[multipurpose]

BTTT

[luckystarmom]

I have identical twins, and people actually ask me which one is the evil one. Urghhh!!!!

[PJ-Comix]

The bar girls of even the smallest towns in the Old West all looked like Ann-Margret or Ursula Andress.

[luckystarmom]

What I love is when someone is being stalked by a monster or someone trying to kill them, they don't call the police.

[CIB-173RDABN]

Sound travels at the speed of light. No matter how far away an explosion is, you will hear the Boom at the same time as you see the explosion.

[meowmeow]

Your cell phone will still work immediately following a nuclear explosion.

[Cagey]

You're freaking me out.

[ConservativeLawyer]

All car chases must smash through a fruit stand.

[arthurus]

. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

That comes from old movies because old cars had to be steered much more positively than do newer models. You couldn't take your hands off the wheel for a few seconds.

[arthurus]

Silencers work on revolvers.

Silencers work on the Russian military Nagant revolvers because the Nagants are designed so that pulling the trigger forces the chamber up against the back of the barrel as the hammer comes down on the pin, sealing it so there is no side blast. Nagants were designed with that characteristic specifically to be silencer-friendly.

[cyclotic]

The baddest torture expert in the world is always some long haired chinese guy with a really cool fu-manchu. He must really network with all the bad guys to get so much work.