Afghanistan: 180 degree alternate plan! Read this!

My big empty head ^

[Hammerhead]

Freeps, while sitting bedside with my 5 year old waiting for her to finish puzzles I got the 'brilliant' idea of how to possibly handle the Afghan situation - an idea to far out in left field, that there is NO WAY the Taliban bottom feeders could figure out how to handle it!!! Check this out: 1st we actively side with the rebels in the north and have them start a campaign to join their side. "Oh, no kidding Hammerhead you big goof. Like that hasn't already be thought of!!!", you say. But here's the BEUTIFUL part. All the while the rebels are recruiting, start BOMBING the citizens (women, children, men) of Afghanistan and northern Pakistan, with........here goes..... blankets, comic books, toys, food, reading glasses, toiletries, all the basic good things in life. That would throw the Taliban in FITS!!!!!! just friggin keep bombing the country with the stuff!!! The general population would say hey T-men, F-off were going the Gringo's and the boys up north that are trying to get rid of your sorry asses!!! Am I a kook or what?

[Petronski]

Ultimately, I believe the 1800 degree plan will be needed.

[Sparky760]

Here is what we need to do We are at war, and we must respond accordingly, causing maximum damage as quickly as possible with minimum risk to and loss of American lives. We must deliver an ultimatum to Iran, Iraq, Syria, the Sudan, Libya and Afghanistan: within seven days, disarm your military, destroy all terrorist camps within your borders, and allow constant inspections henceforth to guarantee that you do not again become a threat to American citizens. If these countries fail to comply—which is extremely likely, given America's record of vacillation and weakness in the face of decades of terrorist attacks—we must unhesitatingly bomb the terrorist camps to rubble, AND raze the capitals of the countries in question, starting with Afghanistan. Blow them out of the 21st century and back to the period that had no respect for life, liberty and property: the Dark Ages. What about the "innocent citizens" in those countries? Many danced in the streets with delight at the news that thousands of American civilians had been burned and crushed to death. If there are any true innocents among them, let them take those seven days to flee the capital and the country, or to rebel. To retaliate against a country whose government aids and abets terrorists is not vengeance. It is not bloodlust. It is not murder. It is self-defense. They do not want to live: we do. Let's remove their threat so promptly and so decisively that no one will think of making it again—and then get on with our lives. Dianne Durante is a senior writer for the Ayn Rand Institute in Marina del Rey, Calif. The Institute promotes the philosophy of Ayn Rand, author of Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead.

[Hammerhead]

Ok,ok, ok, but I thought up the toys part for the kids. Kid: let's see, Koran and hungry or coloring book and chocolate....hmmmmmm.....jeepers, this is SO hard!

[PJ-Comix]

Airdrop them pinup pics of Petra Verkaik. That should do the trick.

[sockmonkey]

I would think that they'd be a little skiddish about these gifts, especially toys..Weren't the last ones the Afghanis had dropped on them full of mines?
Kinda like my friends who were in Nam still make a wide swath around manhole covers, cigarette packs on the ground, garbage cans-conditioning that has not left them to this day.

[CROSSHIGHWAYMAN]

Safety razors and shaving cream

[neutrino]

Why not drop some porn? And alternate that with various religious tracts. It might also be possible to drop "disinformation" stating that some cleric or other had pronounced Oscuma bint Larden to be an infidel who had to be killed.

For that matter, take a picture of bint Larden and digitally alter it such that he's in an ...ahem... compromising and VERY embarrasing position, then distribute that.

And maybe spike the water supply with LSD...

[Objective Reality]

I would also include video cameras and satellite data uplinks for same, with instructions printed in the local language, so the locals could tell the world what we were doing.

Of course, the Taliban would start executing any citizens found in possession of the heretical objects. Hopefully some of that could get taped, too. So long to Arab sympathy for the Taliban.

On a more serious note, I think the initial airstrikes should include a HUGE airlift of supplies, armaments, etc. for the Northern Alliance.

[SAMWolf]

Sounds great until the Taliban puts bombs in some of them and thenm parades handless children in front of the TV accusing us of using toy bombs.

It's been done before.

[GuillermoX]

This was Pattons way of liberating the USSR.

[karlamayne]

Good idea, only problem is: didn't the Russians drop similar items, especially toys, that were "boobytrapped" with small mines. I seem to remember that a lot of kids lost arms and eyes that way. In addition thay say that there's over ten million unexploded Russian mines. They're practically everywhere.

The Afgahnis may have a long memory.

[mlibertarianj]

If they have TV's(probably not,but just in case)Overwhelm their channels with "Baywatch" or the Playboy Channel. Let's see how the mullahs react to that! Also dive bomb them with Playboy, Penthouse,and Hustler as a matter of fact dump Larry Flynt into the Taliban country, there's a place for some corruption!

[knak]

LOL, I'm with you. SOAP

[rockfish59]

they'll just burn 'barney' in effigy!

[Hammerhead]

uh,....I think all those kids are grown up now. So you see, the plan is FLAWLESS!!! Notify Powell at once!

[Objective Reality]

And alternate that with various religious tracts.

Ooo, I LOVE that idea! Parachute about 100 MILLION Christian tracts, blanket the damn streets with them. Suck that, Taliban.

[Clinton's a rapist]

Probably a more realistic plan.

[irish guard]

Did you mean 1800 degree plan or one a lot warmer....say 18,000 degrees???

[egarvue]

Ok, I've been thinking about the Afghanistan idea for a long time, and this is just plain brilliant - the place is going to be a nightmare to invade. Not only would this totally piss off the Taliban to no end, it would be one huge PR move that would slap the Euroweenies back into line.

[SAMWolf]

For that matter, take a picture of bint Larden and digitally alter it such that he's in an ...ahem... compromising and VERY embarrasing position, then distribute that.

I like the idea of a photo of Osamia in a very compromising position involving a male camel.