The problem is, and I don’t know any way to fix it, is that the welfare is intended for the child, who had/has no say in his parents staying together. Of course it’s mom who gets the money in her EBT card, not the kid, and she gets to decide how it’s spent.
If there is no welfare, there will be starving kids. As it is, there are hungry kids in spite of Food Stamps, WIC, food banks, free school lunches and ‘backpacks’ to tide them over on weekends and holidays. Expecting parents to actually feed their own kids with the food and cash we give them is obviously a bridge too far in too many cases.
Orphanages?
You’re right and that’s a huge flaw in the system. Children were actually better off before welfare as parents tended to stay together. Now, 72% of all black kids have no father. It used to be that the church and charities provided for children and things were better. Maybe let donors take tax credits for payments to charities/churches that can prove donations support the kids, not the parents.
The system was created when mothers typically stayed at home and did housework and fathers worked outside the home. Now the system just incentivizes unwed parents into recreational sex and having children that they force others to provide for. The dependent class just has more kids to get a bigger check each month.
If the government can force a “deadbeat dad” into providing support, then the mother can likewise bear more of the financial burden or be more selective about whom she shares her bed with. Ending abortion while cutting off welfare and all social programs ends the incentive.
We used to have lots of them. Won't say they were perfect but did the kids there, on the average, turn out worse than under the current system? Might be cheaper than foster care with economies of scale. Treat them like the nuns of old did. Use demonstrated child abuse or neglect (eg. stealing kid's welfare for her consumption) to justify it. If the single, no longer actively 'Mom', woman can get her act together enough to support the kids she might be able to get them back.