This is ridiculous. The perception "whether it needs doing" is not the problem. It is a household shared-management problem. They need to communicate which types of chores need to be done, who is responsible for them on what basis, and the general agreed-upon standard of care.
It takes time, like working out a budget or the general rules for childcare or in-law visits; but if they are of good will, they will both make the effort to sort it out.
They need to communicate which types of chores need to be done, who is responsible for them on what basis, and the general agreed-upon standard of care.That's what we do, and although I prefer to stick to my agree-upon duties, I can be bribed to do hers, given the right currency.