ODI and T20 records also available on request
The Major: Strange creatures, women. I knew one once... striking-looking girl... tall, you know... father was a banker.
Basil: Really?
The Major: Don’t remember the name of the bank.
Basil: Nevermind.
The Major: I must have been rather keen on her because I took her to see... India!
Basil: India?
The Major: At the Oval... fine match, marvellous finish... now, Surrey had to get thirty-three in about half an hour... she went off to powder her... powder her hands or something... women... er... never came back.
Basil: What a shame.
The Major: And the strange thing was... throughout the morning she kept referring to the Indians as n______s. “No no no,” I said, “the n_____s are the West Indians. These people are w___s.” “No, no,” she said. “All cricketers are n_____s.”
Basil: They do get awfully confused, don’t they? They’re not thinkers. I see it with Sybil everyday.
The Major: I do wish I could remember her name. She’s still got my wallet.
Basil: As I was saying, no capacity for logical thought.
The Major: Who?
Basil: Women.
The Major: Oh yes, yes... I thought you meant Indians.