Conservatives still believe many of the things that Lee believed - the importance of one's home, the primacy of local government, over the rule of the central state. The rights of states over the central government. The behavior of a gentleman, particularly in war. Even his enemies understood Lee's cause, and recognized Lee as an honorable man. That attitude on both sides allowed a quick reunification of the country, and avoided Civil War 2, 3, or more, as most countries would experience.
Your thinking represents a very 20th century, totalitarian, total war concept. Unfortunately, that's where America's politics are today.
Here here.
Or is it, hear hear?
Nicely said.