Finally have a moment to share thoughts.
To me, his announcement last year was more difficult than his death, it took me weeks to get past that announcement because I knew he would be leaving not on his terms.
For most of my adult life, I arranged my day around the 3-hour class he held. Through college, unemployment and jobs, relationships, marriage and children I always arranged my day around this. The podcasts made it easier because I was able to listen over the weekends.
The world is a little colder for me. I feel like I felt when my father finally passed. Dad was in pain for months, toughing it out for my mom but he was broken towards the end, a shadow of the fun loving, gentle cigar smoking knucklehead with huge hands and a huge heart.
Bless you
But he wouldn't, and I can hardly believe it. I do think of his suffering and deteriorating toward the end, too, even though I try not to. I suppose remembering the good times will be possible eventually, but, man, I'd rather be listening to him - live - until he was old and weak just naturally with the long, long passage of time.