Then you need to discover what is written.... 1 Peter 4:12-19 Clearly tells us....."Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you *share Christ's sufferings*, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed"....
You again.
Please actually READ what is written below.
I know my heart lies with the Lord. That you cannot accept that is not my problem.
God is our judge, not you, or I , or anyone else.