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Transcript of internal debate at the CDC:

Fauci: Hey, guess what? We did it! We finally forced them all to wear masks!

Redfield: You’re kidding?

Birx: No f**king way!

Adams: Even POTUS?

Fauci: Yes, even POTUS, he finally caved!

Birx: Cool! So Tony, what do we do now?

Fauci: First I think I’ll show up at a baseball game NOT wearing one, just so I can lord it over everybody how we are the ones who are really superior to them.

Redfield: That would be AWESOME! But once you’ve done that what are we ever going to do to top this?

Fauci: That’s easy....goggles! Face shields!

Adams: ooooooh....I like the way you think Tony!

Fauci: Twelve hours after I’m done giving my interview to
CNN the lawn and garden shelves at Home Depot are
gonna look like the toilet paper section at Target
in April.

Birx: If we can make them wear masks AND shields, why, we
can make them wear ANYTHING!

Fauci: Yes, indeed. Ankle bracelets, cowboy hats,
those silk disco shirts that went out of style in 1979, handcuffs lined with fur...

Adams: Ballgags? Please please PLEASE can we do ballgags?

Fauci: No, Jerome, no one would ever see them under the
masks.

Redfield: I know....let’s make them wear their underwear
on the OUTSIDE! I saw that one in a movie once.
It was hilarious!

Birx: I don’t know. Wearing my bra on the outside? The
Playtex Pretty Petite #304 clashes with most of my
scarves.

Fauci: All in favor.....