[Captain Walker]

But let’s say I did have a problem with it, that I was that guy. You know, the self-appointed pandemic hall monitor type.

Not to get off topic, but the "pandemic hall monitor type" sounds like the self-designated "Keeper of the Lane" on the interstate; the guy who refuses to move out of the passing lane because he's taken it upon himself to determine the speed at which everyone behind him should drive.

[Cecily]

Unfortunately for lane keepers, some states have made their self-appointed activities illegal. They better hope the interstate revenue collectors don’t see them.