FReeper Canteen ~ Tunes For Our Troops: Star Wars V - The Empire Strikes Back ~ 20 September 2019

Ah. let me talk about Museum Day (sigh). It seems that Social Media has ruined it. Here Goes:

For many years, my bff’s sister Pam, and my bff Dee have gotten tickets to Smithsonian-sponsored Museum Day. Pam used to get the tickets at her former place of employment, some high-falutin’ business in Boston. Since I moved back to MA, the two sisters have graciously invited me to come along and Pam always got four tickets so I could bring someone. Two years ago we went to the MFA, and last year we drove all the way out to Clinton, MA to the Museum of Russian Icons, which was spectacular.

This year we wanted to go to the Isabella Stewart Gardener Museum, but it was not on the list so we opted to go to the MFA again, since there is so much to see. I planned on driving to Pam’s house, leaving my car there, and then Pam would drive us all into Boston. I wanted to bring my sister, but she had to babysit her grandchildren because her son’s band was playing at some big “rally” on Boston Common. (more about that later).

And so, giving myself over an hour to go less than 20 miles, I set out.

The traffic north was bad on Rt 3. I could understand heavy traffic going SOUTH, as Rt 3 is the only big highway to get to Cape Cod. The huge Beltway of I-495 does indeed go to the Cape, but only after looping around the entire perimeter of the State of Massachusetts to get there. So, across the highway, the Southbound Lanes were at a total standstill. It was such a beautiful day that people wanted to catch the Cape before it turned into a bleak, deserted, windswept no-mans-land during the winter. But why the ridiculous traffic going NORTH?

Oh! I figured. It’s Autumn. Even though we are not at peak color in MA yet, I’ll bet the trees in NH and ME are awesome right now. So that’s where the Northbound Traffic was headed. Also, wasn’t there something going on at the Common?

After nearly an hour of feeling like a lonely red blood cell struggling its way through a totally cholesterol-choked artery, I could stand it no longer, so I veered off the highway two ramps earlier than my destination. I knew the area well, having worked there 30 years ago, so I knew a secret way to my bff’s house. Better to avoid the infamous Route 9 anyway, a thoroughfare so congested and heinous that I wrote a Blues Song about it over 30 years ago.

My bff lives in the town that spawned Barney Frank. Nuff said.

So I parked my car in Pam’s driveway and we all piled into her car to go into town. By way of Route 9.

Well, the legendary traffic on Route 9 was even worse than I remembered it. Not only did it seem impossible to get into town, but the road was choked with SJW’s with hairy armpits and $1000 bicycles. The town of Newton had placed green ugly rental bikes on every corner, which nobody uses because they have their own sleek lightweight racing bikes with eighteen speeds that they never use either. Pam was cursing and swearing as jaywalkers and bicycles wove in and out though the neighborhood streets, spreading themselves across the lane and not signaling. She was LIVID by the time we got to Huntington Avenue where the Grand Facade of the MFA dominates the environment...or at least USED to dominate. Now, it is dwarfed by huge modern buildings comprised of Northeastern University, Wentworth Institute, MassArt(my alma mater), and several hospitals. Traffic was routed all through the campus of these revered institutions, and on each corner was an ARMY of students, weaving through traffic, jaywalking, not looking at traffic etc. It was a nightmare. Then we turned the corner and saw THE LINE snaking around the entire city block and realized that this was the line of people waiting to get into the MFA!

Having been to Disney World, I knew instantly that there would be a four hour wait to get into the building, based on the length of the line. And the lines at Disney World were to get into a twenty-minute ride. These lines would NOT be moving as quickly because people linger at museums.

It was then I suggested we go back to Newton, have Chinese Food, and go shopping.

And that’s what we did.

Oh...and the rally on the Common that caused such a strain on the traffic and public transportation was not for a candidate, or even a protest march. It was a rally in favor of marijuana.

Pam was certain that the crazy line at the MFA was the fact that “Museum Day” had been relentlessly advertised on Facebook and Twitter for WEEKS. And when something is free...well, you know.

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