That would only solve the tongue depressor issue. What of all of the other medical equipment in any examining room.
No, what will probably be the government solution to this vital community health issue is that every examining room will have to be under constant surveillance while occupied. That means either video surveillance or an actual human health employee in the room.
As Jerry is about to return to his apartment, the door is slammed shut. He tries to open it, but it has been locked.
JERRY: (knocking) Hey, Jenna. Hey!
Jenna opens the door, she has her jacket in her hand and is ready to leave.
JENNA: There. Now something of yours has been in the toilet.
JERRY: What?! Wha... what’d you put in there?
JENNA: Gotta run.
Jenna departs, leaving Jerry looking around him. He’s wide-eyed, looking panicky and disgusted.
JERRY: Oh, man!
[Jerry’s Apartment]
Jerry is on the phone. His table is covered with bottles of cleaning fluids, disinfectants, etc.. He is wearing a rubber glove to hold a spatula. Elaine is eating an apple and watching him.
JERRY: (into phone) Hello, Jenna, did you dunk the spatula? Was it the spatula? Hello? Dammit!
Frustrated, he throws the spatula into the waste bin.
ELAINE: She won’t even give you a hint?
JERRY: No. Could be anything. The whole apartment’s a biohazard.
ELAINE: You know what I bet it is? (points) Your remote.
JERRY: Yes, that is a definite possibility.
He picks up the remote control and drops it into a waste bin.
ELAINE: (walking to the couch) Or, could be your walkman there.
Jerry picks up the walkman and begins to deposit it in the trash, then a thought occurs to him. Elaine sits on the couch and picks up the phone.
JERRY: Are you just screwing with me?
ELAINE: Yeah, I am.
Jerry thinks for a second, then he throws the walkman in the garbage anyway.
< /seinfeld >