Good news about your son.
One of our California grandsons had an epiphany this summer re how he was lucky to be going to an outstanding private high school.
He took my advice to get out of his home this summer and work to make spending money and to get away from his nagging and over demanding mother.
He ended up with basically two jobs, one doing early morning stocking of a high end clothing discount store and driving a high end food truck after his morning job.
He had been turned down at the first job because he was only 17. His sister had the job and got a better paying one at a high end store, and she recommended him. The manager hired him on a two trial basis and gave him a raise, and he is still working there on Saturday mornings.
The owner of the high end food truck hired him for afternoon and evening to manage the truck. He still works there after his other job. He makes very good money working for the high end food truck.
His awakening came when he started his first job and worked with kids he had gone to public school with from K-8. They had good schools for those years and snowflake bs in high school.
Now, those kids can not do basic math nor read simple one page or less instructions.
They whined and groaned when their managers asked them to do anything. They never showed any initiative.
We discussed the differences. How his private high school had enabled him to work as a productive adult, and the public high schools had made losers out of his friends.
He has retaken some of his SAT’s and made big gains. In spite of working and being a jock, his grades now are the best he has ever had.
So much of this is hereditary ie genetic. If you're born athletic, intelligent and/or attractive (or all 3), then you've essentially won the lottery. Why would anyone throw away those advantages when the world is basically yours if you follow some basic rules?
I can (sort of) see where unhappy proglib losers are coming from. They didn't ask to be ugly, stupid or clumsy. They occupy the lowest ranks of social status and don't get to enjoy what we consider are the normal rites of passage: sexual attraction, dating, mating, career success, physical activities, social status/acclaim, etc.
My son was never a really big rebel, so he didn't have much of a path to cross back over. But he very, very aware how different he is than the rainbow hair freaks and other rejects who have attempted to invert the social order through the tools of social media.
He sees the lives of us and those around us, who have been generally successful and let the world work for us. He's decided he wants that too, and realizes he simply has to follow the age old virtues. I usually summarize it as: no (non asset based) debt, no arrests, no drugs and no (out of marriage) kids. Do that, and you can be a free as a bird.