That's generally good advice. I'd like to add some things from the perspective of a woman who loves men in general, loves her husband and sons in particular, and who hopes to help other people to also know the joy of a good marriage.
In re: #1,
Beauty of character is the beauty that lasts. My husband still looks at my face through the eyes of love because I've never given him reason to do otherwise.
In re: #2, As a general rule, men fight straightforward and face-to-face. Women don't. We are subtle, nasty, and vindictive. This is biology. We get pregnant and have the care of nursing infants and/or small children. We can't just settle things with a boxing match so we compensate. A wise man doesn't over-react but remembers that women think differently about conflict.
In re: #3,
The status thing matters because once we settle down to raise kids with you our status depends entirely on yours. But remember, there are different kinds of status. Your job isn't the only thing. My DH is "only" a landscape/maintenance guy. But he's also tech staff at our church, known in our community for being willing to help people when they need him, and incredibly good with his hands at both carpentry and crafts. A man doesn't have to be a company CEO to be respected. But he has to do more than just sit on his backside and he can't be a whiner.
In re: #4,
All too true. I'm probably about as stable as women come, but very, very few men (at least real men, not the damaged, SJW snowflake types), will be significantly more volatile than I am. At least 60% of the women in the world drive me nuts with their emotionalism. Good luck, guys.
In re: #5,
This gets tricky because leadership, like status, comes in many shades and varieties. It takes a tremendous amount of strength and self-confidence for a man to love and partner a woman who excels him in worldly accomplishments, but I've known a number of loving and well-paired couples like that. In all such cases the man in question may not have been as "successful" or "brilliant" in the eyes of the world as his wife was, but he was competent and confident in his own area of expertise and had his wife's respect for it. If you can do this, great. But beware the "brilliant" woman who thinks that she wants to control the relationship rather than have a partner. In fact, run from her as fast as you can.
They have cooties
Celibacy is preferable to a lifetime of female nagging and yelling.
I have a consistent record of failure with women — despite the fact that I’m neither deformed, demented, or destitute. But at least I’ve never been hauled into family court and had half my assets taken away.
Three Chinese cheers for American women: Phoeey! Phooey! Phooey!
That's not what my high school reunions have revealed. The women made an effort, see doctors more than men do, and can use girdles, hair dyes and cosmetics. But many of the men either lose their hair or have a bad hairpiece, won't go to the doctor or dentist, and many have yellowed teeth or bad breath, and skin that is spotted or lined from exposure, poor health, poor diet, drinking or smoking. When women put on a few pounds (not more than 30 since high school) they usually get softer and curvier, but men get a pot belly.
So true. Ruins many churches and schools. I am a woman, but was fortunate to work mainly with men, and I actually took classes to learn how to communicate directly and negotiate to solve problems. Best money I ever spent. But women friends who can do the same are few and far between.
My female relatives are aghast if I call a problem out and ask how we can make it better. Instead they talk behind each other's backs and lie to each other''s faces, and some spats can last for years without getting solved.
Many women do not keep promises and justify abandoning or betraying agreements because something subsequently triggered their emotions. Men are more likely to accept or create workable rules and stick by practical agreements in day-tp-day circumstances.
Sad, but this is my experience.
My wife of 30 years is as beautiful to me now as the day I met her (she was and is a goddess), although it wouldn’t kill her to lose a couple of pounds ;-). My anniversary present to her this year was to finally stop introducing her publicly as my ‘first wife’.
What a load of crap.
Everyone is different. I’ve met both sexes with those traits. Most the time these are traits related to immaturity and selfishness.
There was a book entitled, “Grow Up” written about marriage and the things to do to make it work. I resisted reading it ten years into my marriage. 32 years in, and I could write it.
Immaturity is not related to age. Most of what was described screams of an immature mind.
I love my wife. We have been married for 34 years. She can be the kindest, most considerate, loving person I have ever met. She can also be the meanest, most selfish, and conniving person I have ever met.
Some of it is the onset of menopause, but some of it has been there all along.
Her mom would fight with her dad and then go out and spend money to feel better. My wife, whenever she is depressed, goes shopping either at the mall or online. I have tried to point out the corellation to her, but she just doesn’t see it.
Whenever I go to the grocery store, I always pick up something special, just for her. I can count on one hand the number of times she has done the same.
I won’t go into details, but lets just say on the intimate side, she shows interest about as often as she buys me something special at the grocery store.
But for all her faults - and I could list more, but I’d probably break the internet - I still love her.
Weird.
Enjoy the sound of cats in the background...
The most important rule is: Never, ever be “vulnerable” and tell her anything that would hurt your feelings later. Because for the rest of your life she will use it like a dagger and stab you repeatedly whenever she is angry. If she calls your a nasty name and it doesn’t bother you, then don’t tell her that.
If you married for beauty, you are an idiot.
Your wife should be someone you enjoy spending time with, talking with, shares your interests, etc.
Likewise, you should share hers.
You are going to be spending a lot of time with her.
Now that fate seems to have tired of having sport with me, I don’t want to be a hermit any more. I’d like to find someone to share my time, good health and fortune with.
But after reading this and re-remembering some of my own trials and tribulations?
You know what? Maybe being single isn’t so bad after all.
The most important one, left out.
All women will want to change you. No matter your characteristics, they will want you to change. That is the first thing to straighten out.
“Look, honey, I don’t like theater, classical music or opera. Don’t ever expect me to do more than an occasional foray. And I like my dog. More than you right now, but always enough to keep him even if you threaten to leave. Okay?”
I see it like this, can’t remember where I heard it.
Love is a treasure unearthed by few.
Lovliness belongs to all women, it is their heritage.
Beauty of face and form is carried away by the passageof time
but the beauty of heart and thought grows continually.
She is the mother of generations yet unborn
thank you Lord forgiving me Mrs. C
There are many ugly truths about both men and women, apart from God. We are instruments meant to be played and orchestrated by The LORD. When we try to be in control and play our own instruments, apart from The LORD, the ugliest “music” comes forth, with discord and sour notes. When we, men and women, allow The Almighty to live through us, play us, so to speak, then the most beautiful, and hallowed “music” will precede from us, and we will be in wonderful harmony with The LORD and with each other.