Keep the hype going, keep the viewers, sell the ads! REVENUE, REVENUE, REVENUE!!!
WE WERE FIRST TO REPORT!
OUR EYE TEAM WAS THERE FOR YOU!!!
"Dan and Susie, I'm standing here in waste deep water holding on to this telephone pole so I don't get sucked away with all the structural debris, trees and barnyard animals to warn our viewers about the dangers imposed by this storm. I talked with a few neighbors and they said they have been through this before and they're not leaving. But this is the MOST POWERFUL MEGA DEATH STORM in RECORDED HISTORY EVER so I don't think they know what they are in for. Please, for your own safety, the police... [WHOOOSH] WHOA! That was a STOP sign that just missed decapitating me by mere inches!... Anyhow, the police insist that you evacuate before it's too late. Better safe than sorry! But I can stay because I am doing this for our viewers and I've done this many, many... well, two times before... um, guys, is that an alligator?? Dan, Susie, back to you in the studio..."
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It's interesting when people die
Give us dirty laundry
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down...