Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So, use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay, eternal happiness is just a dollar away.
Time is fast running out to stave off the worst effects of unicorn over-breeding too. Send a billion dollars and we’ll see what can be done... two billion would be better...