But you can’t chop your Mama up in Massachusetts
Not even if you’re tired of her cuisine (her cuisine)
No, you can’t chop your Mama up in Massachusetts
You know it’s almost sure to cause a scene.
But you can’t chop your Papa up in Massachusetts
And then get dressed and go out for a walk (for a walk)
No, you can’t chop your Papa up in Massachusetts
Massachusetts is a far cry from New York
No, you can’t chop your Papa up in Massachusetts
Shut the door and lock and latch it
Here comes Lizzie with a brand new hatchet
Can’t chop your papa up in Massachusetts
Such a snob, I’ve heard it said
She met her Pa and cut him dead
You can’t chop your Papa up in Massachusetts
Jump like a fish, jump like a porpoise
All join hands and habeas corpus
Can’t chop your Papa up in Massachusetts
Massachusetts is a far cry from New York