In 2003 my mother-in-law at age 93 had a stroke and she was in a coma for a few days and when she came to, she was unable to talk or move anything but her eyes and forearms. Her primary care physician insisted we starve her to death. Because we refused, he refused to be her physician. I contended that as long as she could eat, we would feed her, but no feeding tube. She was placed in a nursing home and we instructed them to give her puree meals. My husband and I went there three times a day to feed her because they would not do it (after three minutes they lost patience). She lived for two and a half years. I wouldn’t wish what she went through on anyone, but it was not my role to play God and say when it was her time. It was my obligation to take care of her.
I know by the time it’s my turn to go, they’ll probably force us to pull the plug. Sad. Still makes me angry thinking about it.
I believe that even in the best of nursing homes, when someone is “near death” but lingering, if there is another patient that needs their bed, that the staff “move it along”. I think it is done routinely. No proof. Just my belief. Gotta keep things “moving along”. Efficiency, you know.