His superpowers would be, he'd be able to leap to conclusions without a single piece of evidence.
He'd be able to cover his ass faster than a speeding bullet.
He'd have X-ray hindsight vision.
He could slow down a moving bus by throwing someone underneath it.
He could stare perjury straight in the face and commit it.
He'd have the strength of ten newborn babies.
He could whine like a 767 preparing for takeoff.
Awesome! LOL, Great work!!!
Excellent post! Quite the wit and totally spot on.