Today’s Poem:
The Song of Liawatha
(With Apologies to Longfellow!)
By The shores of the Potomac
By the shining big-butt Congress
Stood the Prius of Liawatha
Also known as Faux-ca-hontas.
By the shores of River Charlie,
Entered Hallowed Halls of Harvard,
Checked the box that said Native
Steal job from some other libtard.
See an opportunity awaiting
Must get herself a new appointment
Scott Browns star is quickly fading,
Cuz hes been a disappointment.
Time to raise the casks and flagons,
Time to spike the fire-water
Time to Circle Liberal wagons,
Time to elect Nikomis Daughter!
Liawatha won the day then,
But she really Dindu Nuffin.
Whats a few votes from Granery Hill?
Whats wrong with some ballot stuffin?
Liawatha lies like bearskin,
Covering up the Tee Pee Floor,
Fauxcahontas speaks with tongue of serpent,
But we all knew that months before.
Liawatha reads a letter,
From the widow of a King,
But the White Man do her better.
Tells her she cant say a thing.
Fauxcahontas speaks with the tongue,
Forked and dipped in a poison cup.
But we knew that we have won,
When they told Liawatha to SHUT UP.
Awesome job! Hilarious!
Claimin That Im Cherokee
Lizzie Get Your Minority Faculty Position
(Sung to the tune of Doin What Comes Naturlly)
Folks are fair in Harvard Square,
For justice they are yearnin.
They will tenure whites like me
If you say you're Cher-o-kee (If you say you're Cher-o-kee) !Yes its true, my eyes are blue
My face is pale as plaster.
But Crimson craves di-vers-i-tee,
So I said Im Cher-o-kee! (So I said Im Cher-o-kee) !Ya' dont have to know how to skin a doe,
How to track, or hunt, or shoot a bow.
Ya' dont have to prove any pedigree
Ya' just check Indian in the reg-is-try.
That is real di-vers-ity (That is real di-vers-ity) !To help my cousins cook book
She entitled "Pow-Wow Chow"
I plagiarized an omelet recipe
It was published anyhow (It was published anyhow) !Its true my great-great-great-grandpa
Drove redskins outta Georgia.
But theres no trail of tears for me
Claimin Im-a Cher-o-kee! (Claimin Im-a Cher-o-kee) !Hat Tip: The Ryskind Sketchbook @ http://tinyurl.com/6q7k3b5