[papertyger]

My progeny aren’t “shopping for a nursing home”

They should be; answering a charge of "I know you are, but what am I" with exactly that same trope argues for SOME manner of mental deficiency.

[nopardons]

Contrary to popular belief, senility and dementia can descend on people of even rather young ages; the same is true regarding mental illness...as in your case.

I reply to you in kind, though it is more than you deserve; but I am polite.