In reading the article, it doesn’t specifically say that this was directed by officials at Oxford University, but rather that it was “guidance offered in a leaflet by the students’ union advises against using traditional pronouns” ... in other words, wishful thinking by some trans-activists. The article is vague enough that I may be mistaken, but I think this isn’t something that Oxford has done.
I still like Thing. Maybe a sliding scale from 0 to 2 would cover the spectrum.
Thing 0, asexual or eunuch. Thing 1, cisfemale. Thing 1.5, transgender male. Thing 2, transgender female. Chisels would be just things, they don’t deserve a place on the scale.