A man escapes from a prison where hes been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He tells Josh Earnest to sit in a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While hes in there, Josh Earnest whispers over to his wife, Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! Hes probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasnt seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, dont resist, dont complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, hell kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!
She responds: He wasnt kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that hes gay, thinks youre cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong Josh Earnest. I love you, too.
Oh man..... coffee all over my desk. I’m still laughing!