“Or, did somebody change the rules while I was raising 4 kids, finishing my degree, and moving around the country?”
Yes, that’s is precisely what happened. Even a cursory understanding of the history of the English language reveals that it has NO firm fixed rules. There is no Le Academie Franciase of English, with firm rules.
English is fast moving, adaptive, and basically a snowball that rolls over other languages and cultures. It takes what is useful, grows bigger, and rolls on.
English teachers and prigs aside, American English is the main dialect, and when a new common usage is accepted, widely actually becomes English. You can sit there sipping tea and pretending people should speak like Catherine Hepburn, but the snowball rolls on, and leaves you behind.