Hillary loses, the Green Party candidate is a fugitive from justice for an outstanding warrant for trespassing and vandalism, the Libertarian candidate isn't a libertarian, and a candidate with no political experience whatsoever wins!
This is the best election EVER!
Not a fugitive; see these pix (h/t eaglestar)
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/3501138/posts?page=185#185
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/3501138/posts?page=187#187