We lost our old money to the Yankees so I’m not a good authority
Honestly few of my ancestors were gentry
My great great grandpa who fought at Vicksburg and Shiloh etc with Miss cavalry ...Boyston I think was their commander....he had 1200 acres but it wasn’t loam and he had 23 kids up into his 70s
He was a squire pretty much but not fancy
His baby girl just died at around 92 I think
My wife is a Barksdale-Wade-Polk of middle TN
Now they really lost a pile
Her great great grandpa had 15,000 acres between here and Mississippi south of Vicksburg and 100s of slaves
Gone with the Wind as they say
They basically reverted to hillbilly class but the faded gentility still shows in her good manners....and her mom and all her sisters too
It’s like Cromwell rode through....it takes a long time to recover
I’ve got some old southern gentry in the family tree here and there, only one you might have heard of was way back though, 18th century and before, but they didn’t die out. King Carter and his second wife Elizabeth Landon, Landon Carter. Understand he had some impact during the land office days of early TN statehood. None of the money filtered down, lol. Only legacy was being well-spoken, well-read and “socially acceptable” as genteel po’ folk, and the names of a few long-dead distant cousins on buildings in Chapel Hill.
You are describing my family as well. Grandmother (father’’s side) went to finishing school and had elocution lessons.