[Blue Jays]

Black criminal: "The police be chasin' me. Quick, hide me."

Black homeowner:
"Yes, of course. Hide in this closet.
I will lie to the police and tell them you are not here.
By the way, nice to meet you. What's your name?"

---

White criminal: "The police are chasing me. Quick, hide me."

White homeowner:
"Hell, no.
Not only am I calling the police, I will shoot you myself if you so much as sneeze, you guilty dirtbag."

[Rurudyne]

Bugs Bunny: “Now, would I throw in a lighted match if my friend Mugsy was in the stove?”