A cousin of mine in Long Island lived with his parents until they died. He was next-to-last of nine children. The other eight couldn't be bothered to visit the parents, especially after Alzheimer's took over. He made it possible for his elderly parents to remain at home rather than divest themselves of everything and live in institutions where they'd be frightened and disoriented -- and likely separated after 50 years together.
The eight siblings would have inherited nothing, possibly been on the hook for medical expenses too, and expense was a major concern of theirs.
They looked down on their little brother for not having a wife and kids, for living with their parents. It took me just one visit to observe that he was basically throwing himself on a grenade every day, sparing his siblings some extraordinary anguish, and treating his parents with love and tenderness and dignity.
He inherited nothing. Nothing you could put a dollar value on. The house was sold, debts paid, net zero. Contents of house split among eight sibs -- because he had no place to put anything. Except in his big heart.
Wow. Just wow.
I have a mother who lives about 3 or 4 miles away from me in assisted living. A very demanding woman, totally self centered. Very difficult to live with.
I oversee her daily bills and wants/needs but she lives her life the way she wants to. She has driven people away in her family, including me and my bride.
When I read stories like yours, I often think about trying that approach.
Then I remember what my brother went through when she lived with him.
Not every parent is meant to live with every family. One or the other (or both) can be complete jerks and insufferable.
I commend your cousin for his big heart. God will reward him for it. He truly lived out the”honor your parents” Commandment.
“He inherited nothing. Nothing you could put a dollar value on. The house was sold, debts paid, net zero. Contents of house split among eight sibs — because he had no place to put anything. Except in his big heart. “
This is a sadly common story, where the lifetime caregiver gets completely screwed one way or the other. Interesting it was a son; I think 99 times out of a 100 it’s usually a kindhearted daughter that gets hosed.