We are coming up on our nine-year designated anniversary!
Well then, we need to celebrate in a Morman manner!
How about we eat a steak, sip a bottle of wine and smoke a pipe ... like Joseph did before he was killed in a blotched jail break at the Carthage jail?
Alternatively, you could chug some of the above brews, if you can find them. You should be careful to stop before you get stewed to the point where you see appearances by Jesus Christ, Moses, Elijah, Elias, and numerous angels; speaking and singing in tongues, often with translations; prophesying; foot washing; and other "spiritual experiences" ... like the Saints did when they got washed out at the dedication of the Kirtland Temple.
I do not recommend any of you sharing your celestial bed with multiple wives, however. In my case, despite D&C 132, my unenlightened wife would be tempted to engage in some blood atonement by cutting me "close and square." It's just not worth the risk, in my opinion.
I do not recommend any of you sharing your celestial bed with multiple wives, however. In my case, despite D&C 132, my unenlightened wife would be tempted to engage in some blood atonement by cutting me "close and square." It's just not worth the risk, in my opinion.Zak, you could do what Joey did: Just go to one of the Mormon gods and have him issue a special proclamational "revelation" geared ONLY to your wife...like D&C132:
52 And let mine handmaid, Emma Smith, receive all those that have been given unto my servant Joseph, and who are virtuous and pure before me; and those who are not pure, and have said they were pure, shall be destroyed, saith the Lord God. 53 For I am the Lord thy God, and ye shall obey my voice; and I give unto my servant Joseph that he shall be made ruler over many things; for he hath been faithful over a few things, and from henceforth I will strengthen him. 54 And I command mine handmaid, Emma Smith, to abide and cleave unto my servant Joseph, and to none else. But if she will not abide this commandment she shall be destroyed, saith the Lord; for I am the Lord thy God, and will destroy her if she abide not in my law.
{The "none else" clause of verse 54 is there just in case "the wife" begins to clamor "what's good for the goose is good for the gander."}
So shall the Mormon "scripture" factory get to work for ye, oh potentially venturous "poly" one?
After all, D&C 68:2-4 makes it quite clear that ALL Mormon priests can produce "Scripture"
...this is an ensample unto ALL who were ordained unto this priesthood...and this is the ensample unto them,
that they shall speak as they are 'moved upon' by the Holy Ghost... [v. 4:] And WHATSOEVER they shall speak when moved upon by the Holy Ghost SHALL BE SCRIPTURE,
shall be the will of the Lord,
shall be the mind of the Lord,
shall be the word of the Lord,
shall be the voice of the Lord...